Fifty Cent

Fifty Cent ft Justin Timberlake,

Timbaland made the beat and grunted

Ayo Technology

If you would have told me four years ago. That Ja Rule was gonna be
making a comeback and 50 cent was close to the biggest flop of his
career. I would have deemed you retarded and walked away.

Really what happened to Fifty? His first album is an undeniable classic,
what the fuck happened?

It seems the more money he makes the more his talent seems to diminish.
If you just look at it from a singles standpoint "In tha club", to
"Candy Shop", to "Amusement Park". The first was the heaviest played
record in history. "Candy Shop" was well received but dissapointed some
fans. This lastest shit gets no play even on BET, shit Rap City don't
play his video.

So here we are on single number four
"Ayo Pornography".

That was a little too risqué for television so the most rational name
change is
"Ayo Technology"

Righttttt

The lyrics go

Ayoooo!!!/
I'm tired of using "technology"/
I need you right in front of me

What are ya'll sleeping with robots???

Naw I'm getting ahead of myself...

They sleeping with dildos

I gotta take a detour to talk about the fucking slopes Tim got on the
back of his head. I counted 7, email me if you spot any more. Dude lost a
lot of weight and I applaud his transformation but the back of his head
could become the next big ski destination.

Naw I love Timbaland as a producer, as an artist.... not so much but
he's perfected his sound over the years. You can always appreciate when
someone has really mastered their craft even if its making a hamburger,
it becomes art when its done at a certain level.

The video is set with 50, J.T., and Tim as Super Secret Porn Addicts.

What makes them Super Secret you ask?

First Fifty has a gun that can see through clothing, he uses this to
spot trannies with the big homie Ma$e.

Then there's Timbo with the holographic television that can get all
those pay-per-view porn channels playing at once.

Last but not least Justin has the powers to touch all the right spots without actually touching anything

Perfect for our less endowed caucasian brothers.

Again I'm not feeling Fif's flow his shit sounds sooo remedial. He's
desperate right now he just keeps on hitting the studio trying to pump
out a hit. It's just not working, the magic is gone.

No complaints with the hook besides the hook. Seriously why are these
niggas talkin about beating off to porn? They all make millions all of
them are relatively good looking...Well maybe not 50, he kinda looks
like the Jersey Devil.

It just doesn't feel like the mean it, Forreal these guys see more pussy
than Playtex. Justin prolly aint beat off since the Mickey Mouse Club.

Good Video though

Some WTF Moments

*Why is 50 blinded for a lap dance?

Is that the new shit?

Nigga's going to the skrip club to smell hoes now? Just open a can of Chicken on the Sea son you can acheive the same effect.

*What are all the old white men doing?

They just sitting there reading the New York Times in a brothel?

Sean Kingston

Sean Kingston

Beautiful Girl

Ok I tried to ignore it but it gets on my nerves so badly I simply cannot let it die down without me venting my frustrations.

This big pie faced ass faux rude bwoy bubble gum singer.

When I first heard it I just changed the channel and passed it off as something only those top 100 radio stations would play.

A week later though I heard his annoying ass in the car while I was putting in another CD. I knew I had to hate on this shit like no other.

Before we get on the video though I have to give ya'll a lil insight into who Sean Kingston is.

Born Ka'Shon Anderson in Miami, Kingston was raised in Jamaica till he was six. That explains his thick accent....

Waittt! this dude has no accent

He has a Jamaican flag chain and a vocorder though I guess that counts kinda.

I saw an interview last week with him on Direct Effect. That lame ass host what's his face, asked him if he had ever experianced the things he wailed about. This nigga said in sixth grade his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend........

What did she hold his hand after 4th period?

That's something you should've lied about buddy.

Everything about this guy is a joke to me. From his uni-brow to his on and off patois.

The video is creative I guess I'll give that to him. Since music videos are never quite explained I'm gonna take an educated guess that he's either some kind of time traveling fat boy or he's the reincarnation of some fat boy from the 40's. Either way this nigga is fat....with a uni-brow.......and makeup on.

The song is the international anthem for kids with low self-esteem. This shit is pathetic, she's out of your league so you're not even going to try?

You sound real gay right now my niggy!

At least give the big guys of America something to root for. Big Mike never makes excuses that's why he's the Big Nigga Of The Year. This guy just sits at the bar giving ole girl the stalker eyes wishing he had the testicular fortitude to say something. That's not the kind of message you send out Sean! Fat kids already feel bad, don't tell them not to even try to get any pussy. You might prevent the birth of another Sean Kingston....

On second thought

I know ya'll heard about him getting blasted on the radio cuz he was begging a chick for some cut??

C'mon Sean!

I really think this song is a cry for help ya'll, somebody put Kingston on suicide watch for he Kurt Cobain his big ass over his virgin..ness.


Some WTF moments

*I spied Lil Mama of "Worlds Ugliest Dog" fame making a cameo. You'll see her next to Kingston while he's singing in that booth surrounded by teenage impersonators. You might mistake her for a pterodactyl in a poodle skirt.

*J.R. Rotem looks like a Scott Storch impersonator... Without the whole AIDs thing going on.

*Fun video factiod: The main video vixen is Karinne "Superhead" Steffan's little sister "Slop Jaw".

Monthly Rant

Monthly Rant

Where did hip hop go ya'll?

Was it lost in a sea of diamonds and gold?

Did it get sidetracked by the allure of easy women and extravagant cars?

Were the listeners dumbed down in the pursuit of fun?

Or is it much deeper than that?

Were we taught to hate the land that the diamonds were ripped from? So that we wouldn't care about the injustices committed?

Were our fathers incarcerated for petty crimes so little black girls could grow up without a positive male image? Only to search for that feeling of self worth in countless partners?

Were our boys fed a slanted image of manhood?

Why do we feel the need to prove ourselves worthy of the world? So much so that we wear our lives out the door.

Why do we take pride in ignorance? I know several people whose only reading habits are magazines and text messages.

Its sad that something that started so positive has become an instrument in the destruction of our people.

I compare current hip hop to a poisonous flower. While its outwardly attractive the weak minded will be poisoned by its backward teachings.

While I love it for showing a side of American life often ignored, there's no balance being broadcasted.

Round the Clock bullshit advertising sex, drugs, violence, and monetary worship.

I'm sick of the state of hip hop and more dissapointed in the state of Black America.

MTB4

MTB4
Oh,Father

What's good ya'll??

We comin down to the last episodes of MTB and I've never questioned any group of guys sexuality so much in my life.

Usually when I call a nigga gay I'm just slightly jealous of them and I can't come up with a better insult.

That's sadly not the case here, I bet if you met some of these brothers face-to-face you would smell the penis on their breath.

Moving On

That crazy hoe Laurie Ann has been sent to the valley of television obscurity and has been replaced by Jamal. A cooler, calmer, saner choreographer who presents the boysss with a intricate routine but he actually explains his shit.

Laurie Ann would have been screaming about Boom Kacks and the Gotcha Gotcha, Clad in her panties and nipple tassles. All the while Qwanell would be saving every moment in his spank bank for later.

Shit from the sound of Laurie's music she might be in need of a job soon.

Just another incentive to work hard Q!
I'm sure she wouldn't mind cattle prodding you in a black leather cat suit.

Anyways Jamal goes through the steps patiently and the guys actually learn the steps easily.

Except for poor poor handicapped Julius, my dude always look one word away from crying don't he?

I think he faking all that emotion man, it looks more like he's focusing on taking a shit.

Or a dick

I kid, I kid! Julius might be one of the only red blooded males in the house.

Have you seen Jeremy???

I didn't either, until tonight but the queer is strong in that one! He got a mean lisp! Jhonny Gil somewhere sitting on Eddie Murphy lap right now jealous as fuck!

Meanwhile Carlos gets released for a conjugal visit his girl Joserra. All hate aside he looks like a real nice guy, his pops left him as a child so he's determined to be there for his unborn. So he and Jossera hit up a pizzeria and discuss things, its good to see a dude trying to do right on TV cuz too often we see the opposite.

Back to the hate!

On the other side of town D'Angelo is getting his long locks cut off cuz Diddy didn't think it was cute.

I commend his dedication to his dreams, but come on the nigga is oogly regardless. He reminds me of Chamillionaire with braces.

So the boyssss take a trip to the studio next with Bryan Cox and Jack Knight. They're super excited about working with Cox!......

Ok I gotta take a slight detour tho to touch on Robert's fuckin bedazzled fedora.

Is that shit surgically attached to his skull??

My dude, although its okay to have a signature look. Neyo rocks Lip Gloss and Kangols, T Pain has his Oakley glasses and Highlighted dreads, D'Angelo wears....nothing.

But Rob you gotta embrace diversity in your clothing even Micheal Jackson changes his Drum Major Jacket and Pajama Bottoms on occasion.

Back at the Studio the guys get to hear their first track. I liked it, I can't see it playing in the club in Dallas, but it had a decent beat.

Robert, Big Mike, DyShon, Willie, and Jeremy did their thug-thizzle on the beat. While Julius just let his "depression" eat at him.

Nigga so what you can't dance? This is still a vocal competition, your fuckin leg don't have anything to do with your voice. Trust me I saw a man in a hover-round break it down in New Orleans once....

Ok I'm lyin but yall get what I'm sayin

When I saw this dude struggling with 'exclusive' I knew it was a done deal for Julius.
To his defense Julius can hardly speak so its not fair to expect him to pronouciate.

Donnie was just kind of lackluster so he knew he had to nail the dance routine. So he enlisted the help of that freaky nigga Qwanell and Carlos.

How they started comparing sex strokes is beyond me?

Qwanell talkin bout "You gotta feel the music"

Maybe that's some new NY slang for
"You gotta use lots of lubricant".

After Q got his jollies they all called it a day and went to bed except for Carlos. He got a call from Joserra about complications with the baby. You could see it on his face that he was going through it. I sincerly felt bad for ole dude but he just hoped for the best.

Then news came that the child had downs syndrome and that just broke him. That's life sometimes it fucks you over but you gotta go on.

And so must the show

A lil funny moment to me was when Julius was talking to Qwanell about his cripple status. Then Qwanell start crackin jokes and Julius looked like he was gonna crack him in the head with that crutch. Everything Q said was true though if you gonna be weak in one area just work harder on your singing.

I wouldn't take advice from that nigga either though

He looks like he has sex with blowup dolls....

Male blowup dolls

The next day is eliminations so errbody is on their best behavior dancing in the mirror doing vocal excercises. Something was different though.....

Oh yea Donnie had hit up Staten Islands "Guido Gear" the day before. This muhfucka had the full addidas track suit with the chains.
Maybe he thought this would make him look the part and therefore he would be more confident.

I seen Italians dance though, they look like they're drunk

Oh yea that's because they are.....

Anyways his heart was in the right place

On the boysss march to elimination, I gotta give it to em though all these dudes are extremely talented.....

Except for Dy'Shon I aint even know that dude existed before this episode.

First Diddy had them dance and surprise, surprise the niggas have the routine down!

I guess when your not distracted by a half nekkid woman screaming at the top of her lungs, you can pick things up a little easier.

Shit I'm completely off subject now but that reminds me of that part in Beloved when that lady just show up butt ass outta nowhere. I've never seen that movie all the way through, somebody explain that to me in the comments.

Diddy was secretly impressed behind those aviators.

I saw him sucking on that penis flavored toothpick a lil too hard.

Anyways Big Mike was putting it down as usual. I really sick of P.Diddy and the fam acting all surprised when ole dude delivers amazing performances. Like fat people are retarded or something.

Again Mike needs to get the Christopher Wallace Big Nigga Achievement Award.

Now Julius was an entirely different story, dude was understandably terrible when it came to dancing. I mean he did the best he could on his cripple ass leg.

Carlos was missing steps as well but I like the dude so were gonna let him pass.

But come on Julius forgetting the words son, just cuz you have crutches that don't mean you have to be retarded too.

Having a hurt leg aint enough reason to fall into depression. The fact that your child might have downs syndrome is. You never saw Carlos complain though, he never once tried to explain why he was off. That was him man-ing up and taking responsibility for himself, Something Julius never did. Julius eliminated himself from the get go when he chose to feel sorry for himself and expect everyone else to follow suit.

Ya'll know who got the boot

The rest get to travel back home for two long months. When they return Diddy expects to see some SuperStarssss.



Some WTF moments

*Who's that chick with the Rapunzel weave in the studio with the guys?

*Why Mike and Robert always wearing shades in the dark? Only Musiq should be allowed to do that shit. That's cuz that nigga so cock eyed he can see behind himself.

*Why Julius girl sound like Oprah from Beloved

My bad about the timing yall

MTB4

MTB4 Delay

Sorry yall the MTB4 recap is gonna be slightly late cuz I have a early morning engagement. Check back around 2 or 3 pm

Hate On Haters,
*Future*