T.I.(P) - Hurt

T.I.(P) -

HURT

Damn I really fear for the man who decides to test T.I.(P)'s gangsta!

Look at him!

5 foot 3

Baby Gap Thermal

Size 28 Jeans

Osh Kosh Beanie placed ever so carefully on his dome

Not to mention those fuckin nostrils..

If they flare out any further he's gonna split his own damn nose!

With a nose like that there's no way he dont do coke...

He put more white in his body than New York and SupaHead during All-Star weekend

and just like them smutty bitches he could prolly suck a piece of paper off the floor standing up!

Now thats gangsta...

I bet Chaka's hands still hurt from the beating they took from Tip's bony ass body

Mannnn!

Everything in this video is so-so gangsta!

Dirty Broken Windows

Abandoned Buildings

Black Baseball Bat

I bet Mr. Harris's stylist thought the chain around his neck was a nice touch

I'm getting too old for this shit!

I just can't feel that hardcore rap shit when its done on closed sets with rappers that don't do the shit they promote.

I can see the base powder they put on that high-yella smurf!

Anyways on to Alfamega

What the fuck kind of name is Alfamega?

I'd rather listen to Reh Dogg

This nigga kinda looks like Big Tigger and The Game's love child

And since I aint never heard of this cat before I decided to check out his myspace for a little info.

What I found was appalling!

I advise those with heart problems to simply scroll down quickly

Industry insiders are comparing Alfamega to the late Tupac and Notorious B.I.G.,
because of lyrical content, style and the fact that all three share the
Astrological sign, Gemini. Alfamega is quickly being dubbed the last chapter of
the “Gemini Trilogy”. Alfamega is bigger than just music.

In the words of Kanye

" I hear niggas compare themselves to BIG alot/ You know Big and Pac/ You know to get it hot"

But never have I ever seen someone compare astrological signs and attribute it to lyrical prowess.

This nigga said the "Gemini Trilogy"...

This ain't Starwars homie..

Plus didn't the late greats die horrible violent deaths?

You sure you wanna end that trilogy?

Lets take a look at Alf's lyrics and see how it stacks up to "Juicy" or "Dear Mama"

**k niggas might talk loud, act real

But they don’t really want this here

Pussy niggas better act right, lay low

We know where yo' family live

Trust me you don’t want me up in yo' crib

Wit' a ski mask on duct taping your kids

You can pray all you want

But I don’t forgive

You should have been doin' nothing

But ya did what ya did

I ain’t gotta spell it out, pimp, you know what it is

The rest gangsta on the real man you know what it is

Plus I got a hundred goons wit' me

Dressed in black

Fifty at the front door, fifty at the back

Half got 'Ks, half got macs

Bring ‘em out, bring ‘em out

Dumb Fuck!

How dare anyone compare this retard to any legend...

Ole Dirty would shit on this nigga in a crack induced haze

Thats like Supahead comparing herself to Oprah after she smiles for the pop shot...

I aint gonna say nothing about Busta

That man got paid off this stupid shit, more power to him, he gotta pay for all them court dates

Some WTF Moments

*Who the hell let that white boy in the video lookin like Matt Herbz (the white boy before that white boy DJ Drama)

*Who really believes that Tip stay strapped under that smedium thermal... Nigga I can see your ribs!

*WTF was the point of them four niggas doing some sort of chain gang dance... Now that was gangsta!..especially when they twirled around like a helicopter

*It looks like Tip really loves to dangle large flaccid objects in front of his face

Lil Mama

Lil Mama ft some old man
G-Slide






















Guess who decided to capitalize on the ever popular nursery rhyme dance craze???

Everyone's favorite teenage pterodactyl Lil Mama thats who!

Man I know Breezy did this one and I try to stay away from A.H.M (Already Hated on Material) but ya'll know how much I love to hate on this broad!

First, she kinda looks like what I would describe as a man,
A very ugly man with second degree burns to the facial area.

Secondly While I respect her skills, she went kinna hard on Jay's beat, her direction is all off.

Chris Brown is around her age and you dont see him singing about action figures and getting heavy spins on Radio Disney.

I mean the whole Dora the Explorer look is a good look when you're a 12 year old rapper, when you 17 going on 45 it aint cute.

Okayy lets get to the video.

When Lil Mama stepped out of the Chateau Mama housing projects I thought it was Jim Jones with his hair down.

I know Lil Ma is a bit tom-boyish, shit her voice is a little deepish for a female kinda like a Bow Wow or Omarion. But the way she dressin she's one step away from lookin like Snoop on The Wire...

And that means she's one step away from lying facedown reciting Twista lyrics with Da Brat....

Lets move on.

Next Lil Mama is outted by Flava Flav's baby girl Miraclisha, and you know nobody likes to be proved wrong by a crack baby.

So with a bit of dragons breath, a shimmy, and a shake Lil Mama took some acid whilst no one looked and began an odd bedazzled Sesame Street drug trip.

Like a ghetto fairy, she turned 124th and Lennox into a sunshiney playground where the Lip Gloss flowed free and little girls could swing their beaded heads in tune to the beat.

Seriously did all those lil girls have beads in their hair? What happened to bow-rettes?

When Venus and Serena finally realised that the whole "Ribbon in The Sky" look was not poppin everyone else should have taken the hint.

On to this old ass nigga rappin with her...

Every opportunity to get some shine isn't always a good one.

He's like 45 and his entire flow is kissin Lil Mama all in her ass crack, that shit dont sound right.

Thats like Jay devoting a CD to how Lil Bow Wow influenced his career.

Anyways the Video is Iight, I guess if I were 5 I would be geeked up about this shit....maybe



Some WTF Moments


* Dont the nameless Old dude look just like Tim from "The Shop"


* Why Lil Mama muff Miraclisha in the head so fuckin hard? Dont she know Flav's kids aint working with alot? the last thing she need his head trauma.

* Again I must stress how absolutely horrifying Lil Mama looks, I'm sure that if Usher and Tameka find a way to get that baby out of her penis its gonna look just like Lil Mama.

*Sorry bout the horrendous waits between posts fam, I'm trying to learn this new software for a job opportunity*

Lil Wayne

Birdman ft Lil Wayne-

Pop Bottles

Whats Good Ya'll!

Man I saw this shit last week and I absolutely couldnt wait to hate on this shit to the fullest extent.

Sadly I like the song..well I like Lil Wayne's verse but his behavior in the video is so spastic and strange I have to shit all over this.

Theres so many things wrong with this video but first and foremost why Wayne and his Young Money flunkies drinking during the game?

Why is Jadakiss the coach for that matter??

Shittt fuck all that, Why they all got Oklahoma jerseys on???

I'm sooooo confused!

Lil Wayne is a strange fellow and I'm pretty sure he was inebriated by quite a few things during this shit. Theres no way he could have really made that buzzer beater.

Shit the basket prolly looked like a giant cucumber to that pill poppin gremlin.

Whatever...

If it helps his creative process I'm all for it,

I swear I'm gonna wake up one morning and hear Wayne drowned in a pool of his own vomit.

I can see it all now...

Baby singing "Stuntin Like My Daddy" at the wake.

Trina in a black veil and a mini skirt.

The makers of Vicodin quietly sobbing in the corner.

What a sad day for us all.

All jokes aside what in the fuck is Jadakiss's purpose?

Okay I get it you sampled "Put Ya Hands Up"

Do you ever see Kanye putting Shirley Bassey in the "Diamonds" video?

Or the hundreds of other artists he's sampled?

Don't even get me started on Birdman's flow.

I think he has the alzheimers...

This nigga just kinda rambles on and onnn

You can't have a normal human conversation with this guy.

It's not possible.

"Sooo Birdman what do you think about President Bush's stance on gay marriage?"

"Lil Daddy look here, dont ask me bout' no
faggadation ya understand!, I dont know nothin' and I aint seen shit nigga ya
dig! I do know bout them 26's on that Presidental Phantom ya heard! Respect my
gangsta!"

Not to mention he's been dead for about 6 years now.

I mean c'mon this dudes face looks like he got hit with the World Trade Center.

I digress...

Video is okay if not a little confusing but just sit back and enjoy the coonery.

Some WTF Moments

*Why did Wayne boot up at that cheerleader after she winked at him? Oh yea Baby gets jealous so you gotta keep that hetero shit on the low low.

I get it.

*Whats with all the red? Dont they know its corny for couples to dress alike?

*Once agian I must stress that Baby looks like a re-animated corpse. That nigga so ugly his tattoos set up a removal appointment.

*Jadakiss looks like an obese ninja turtle without the shell

MTB4

MTB4



THE FINALE-LIVE

I'm happy to say that last nights finale did not dissapoint at all.

Diddy was in his prime and the whole event almost made you forget what a graveyard Bad Boy is....Almost.

Iight first thangs first, Who else was confuzzled by the fake MADE intro???

"I'm In!"

That made me chuckle

After the second unneccessary intro we were treated to an accapella version of "End of the Road"....Agian.

I'm so sick of that fucking song, If I never ever hear it agian it will only be too soon. I swear they made the dudes sing it every episode. No wonder Puff looked so damn bored!


He had wayyy better shit to do than listen to "End of the Road" and "Can You Stand the Rain" on loop. Like getting a mani/pedi or trying to convince his sons to wax them fuckin eyebrows.


Anyways the guys sounded Iight, Actually them niggas kinda hurt my ears.

When you got 10 guys on stage singing their hearts out for a dream its gon get ugly.

I think Donnie was catchin some 'bows to the side of the dome.

Seriously Homie was getting knocked around in between DyShon and Willie.


After that performance The Master of Ceremonies Sway came out in all his prison glory.

Sway looks like that nigga that was locked up for a couple of years and never really came out of the prison mentality.

He dont ever dress up...ever

I remember at one of them MTV awards dude was rockin a satin head wrap and some dress slacks.

At least the guys look presentable....well some of them do.

Mike lost another 14lbs and Jeremy lost some facial hair,that nigga looked straight up like a fresh shaven vagina.


We all knew he was a pussy, he really didnt have to look the part.

Sway then explains that Diddy would be making cuts throughout the show and introduced the "Dream Team" minus Boom Kack.


The new choreographer is Jamaica,who looked like she had a Minnie Mouse costume on.

But all the usuals showed up

Biv

Ankh Ra

Slam

Cox


Never one to be out-done Diddy came out to the theme of "Last Night"


I'm so trained at changing that bullshit I sat straight up and reached for the remote.



Anybody else notice that Puff wears a uniform now?

Everytime you see this nigga he got on a motorcycle-esque jacket and a white tee.


Thats a sign of aging.


My grandpa only wears Navy blue work suits and house slippers.


After his grand entrance Diddykins let the viewers ask him some questions.

First up was Jameela from Connecticut.

She kind of looked like what I envisioned Roberts boy...girlfriend to look like.


She asked Puff if he was really as crazy as he acted on the show....

You asking a man who made a video of himself peeing if he's crazy???


ok


Then there was the Bloopers

I gotta admit I was laughin my ass off when Dirty Q and Carlos woke errbdy up at 3 in the morning.

That shit woulda never happened on MTB2 though.

Babs woulda cut them niggas for fuckin with her Get Fresh sleep time.

The next morning when Qwanell was asleep they gave dude the R Kelly redlight special.
It was funny cuz he was'nt even shocked to wake up to wet sheets....


Then Diddy split the guys up into two teams

First, DeAngelo, Dysho, Robert and Donnie performed, "If It Isn't Love."

Next, Brian H., Brian A., Mike, Jeremy and Willie


I liked team 2 a lil better but I think Jeremy would have been alot more convincing if they let Jeremy switch all the "girl"s with "boy"s


I know I'm going hard on the dude but he know he gay.

After the performance Diddy makes the first cut


and its the 40 year old virgin Dy'Shon

Notears shed over that one I hardly knew dude was in the house and he look older than my pops.

After the guys pretended to be sad, Donnie hopped on the piano for a slow version of
"Exclusive"


My head really hurt after that one.

It was like a Dru Hill concert with Keith Sweat and KC and JoJo all singing simultaneously.

Shit add Beyonce in there for good measure.


Then Diddy cut Brian H for talkin that "Tryin to play me" shit.

Niggas act like Diddy dont watch the tapes.

But the show must continue


Diddy let Danity Kane out the cage for their first apperance in a couple of months.

The girls looked good though especially Dawn.
didnt she used to look like Chopper with a wig?


There was also this wierd vibe between Aubrey and Diddy

I know he was hitting it until she blew up like Brittany Spears.

Shit Dirty Q will still work with ya Aubrey that nigga has sex with lamp posts.

Then came Yung Joc's futile attempt to sell his shit album "Hustlenomics"
"Coffee Shop" is sooooooo bad!

Plus Gorilla Zoe sounded like he chain smoke car mufflers while doing gay porn part-time.
Ask Aubrey bruh you gotta spit when it comes to Diddy.


Then Puff did that dumb ass arrangement thingy.

Didnt we vote for this fuckin band? Why Diddy pretending that he's making the decision?

That shit got me heated cuz there was like 5 min left and he fuckin around, I really thought he was gonna announce another show in front of Kim's new house or something.

Then he hit us with a shocker........he was making it a 5 man band!

In the spirit of The Jackson 5 he said....
I bet ya'll $17 Qwanell gonna be dangling his child out the car window in 10 years.



Back to the Show

With 3 min left on the clock Puff chose the Robert "The Rhinestone Cowboy" as the first to make it.

Then Willie "L.L. Cool Will"
Then Qwanell "Dirty Q"
Then Brian A. "Mighty Mouse"

And last but not least

Big Mike
"Big Nigga Of The Year"


If Big Mike aint make it I woulda just turned the damn TV off really and truely.

Oh Wait theres one more thing Donnie got a solo deal with Bad Boy!
I think thats worth $500 and a Sean Jhon velour in USD.

After the announcement It was straight pandemonium!

Diddy was doing his best Tom Cruise
The Boys were crying and jumping all over each other
Ankh Ra was suckin up Slam during the confusion


I kinda felt bad for DeAngelo though my dude was just kinda lost like
"What about me Puff?...You still lookin for an assistant?"


Its kinda sad cuz after all their hard work these guys are gonna put out one or two CD's and then end up just like Danity Kane or countless others before them.

Shit New Edition will always let ya'll come on tour with them.

It's Bad Boy Baby!

Ty-Real

Ty-Real

Beat The Beat Up

No Hate this time just check out the homie Ty-Real's YouTube site. He does a real interesting video series in which he gives insight into his creative process. His beats in High School were fairly Kanye-ish but Its good to see someone progess in their craft.

Baby Bash ft T-Pain

Baby Bash ft T-Pain

Cyclone

The Wait Is Over!

I'm back ya'll!

Sorry for leaving you so long with no hate, I see the big homie Ronnie Mexx got a blog up so I knew I had to start posting agian real soon. Niggas already thought I was him, If I dissapeared that would look really suspect.

With no futher ado, I introduce you to the Worst song in America.

This shit makes my ears bleed, Vocodor hype man-ing mixed with some of the worst rhymes penned since "Must Be The Money"

I know many of you are asking, Who the Fuck is a Baby Bash?

Let me drop some knowledge on you

Back in '03 this nigga dropped one of the worst songs in history, "Suga Suga" and being that it was one of the worst songs in history white people loved it. Mexicans fell right into the trap too. I know theres not alot of Mexican artists getting that mainstream paper but c'mon this nigga is close to drooling on himself.

I feel like he draws words out of a bowl and tries to make sense out of them the best he can.

Look at that numba on the back of that bumpa?????

Shittt

Even Cam'Ron laughs at this nigga

Not only is he a waste of label funding this cat looks like a Mexican Ginuwine.

He better never let the PoPo catch him touching on little boys them C-Block niggas gonna have a Baby Bash forreal.

I really didn't even realise T-Pain was in this bullshit, Homie so dark all I could see was those damn white shades.

Why he always wearing those shits?

Didn't white plastic shades die with D4L's career?

Oh Wait..... wasnt T-Pain the nigga that was talking about Brandy's Brothers' penis? He prolly wear shades all the time so he can check out the package on the low low.

These down low bruthas are getting soo smart!

If it wasnt for the highlighted dreads or his infatuation with large penises I woulda never thunk it.

I'm so tired of strip club anthems, between Uncle Luke and the Ying Yang Twins stripper hoes have a catalog of songs thicker than the bible now.

Some WTF Moments

* Why does T-Pain have a bandana on his face? This nigga lives in the strip club you think he would be accustomed to the smell of day old salmon and coco butter.

*Did this strip club buy the old Soul Train set?? I swear I saw that asian chick with the Tong Po braid dancing in the background.

*What is that noise T-Pain is making at the end of the song? It kinda sounds like him and Baby Bash were playing Hot Wheels in the studio and decided Teddy's motorcycle noise was super badass.

The Delay

I had my sim card stolen over the weekend so posting was impossible because I lost all of my writing and internet capabilites.

I should be getting a new one in a week or so

Why would a nigga steal my sim card and not my sidekick is perplexing

Fifty Cent

Fifty Cent ft Justin Timberlake,

Timbaland made the beat and grunted

Ayo Technology

If you would have told me four years ago. That Ja Rule was gonna be
making a comeback and 50 cent was close to the biggest flop of his
career. I would have deemed you retarded and walked away.

Really what happened to Fifty? His first album is an undeniable classic,
what the fuck happened?

It seems the more money he makes the more his talent seems to diminish.
If you just look at it from a singles standpoint "In tha club", to
"Candy Shop", to "Amusement Park". The first was the heaviest played
record in history. "Candy Shop" was well received but dissapointed some
fans. This lastest shit gets no play even on BET, shit Rap City don't
play his video.

So here we are on single number four
"Ayo Pornography".

That was a little too risqué for television so the most rational name
change is
"Ayo Technology"

Righttttt

The lyrics go

Ayoooo!!!/
I'm tired of using "technology"/
I need you right in front of me

What are ya'll sleeping with robots???

Naw I'm getting ahead of myself...

They sleeping with dildos

I gotta take a detour to talk about the fucking slopes Tim got on the
back of his head. I counted 7, email me if you spot any more. Dude lost a
lot of weight and I applaud his transformation but the back of his head
could become the next big ski destination.

Naw I love Timbaland as a producer, as an artist.... not so much but
he's perfected his sound over the years. You can always appreciate when
someone has really mastered their craft even if its making a hamburger,
it becomes art when its done at a certain level.

The video is set with 50, J.T., and Tim as Super Secret Porn Addicts.

What makes them Super Secret you ask?

First Fifty has a gun that can see through clothing, he uses this to
spot trannies with the big homie Ma$e.

Then there's Timbo with the holographic television that can get all
those pay-per-view porn channels playing at once.

Last but not least Justin has the powers to touch all the right spots without actually touching anything

Perfect for our less endowed caucasian brothers.

Again I'm not feeling Fif's flow his shit sounds sooo remedial. He's
desperate right now he just keeps on hitting the studio trying to pump
out a hit. It's just not working, the magic is gone.

No complaints with the hook besides the hook. Seriously why are these
niggas talkin about beating off to porn? They all make millions all of
them are relatively good looking...Well maybe not 50, he kinda looks
like the Jersey Devil.

It just doesn't feel like the mean it, Forreal these guys see more pussy
than Playtex. Justin prolly aint beat off since the Mickey Mouse Club.

Good Video though

Some WTF Moments

*Why is 50 blinded for a lap dance?

Is that the new shit?

Nigga's going to the skrip club to smell hoes now? Just open a can of Chicken on the Sea son you can acheive the same effect.

*What are all the old white men doing?

They just sitting there reading the New York Times in a brothel?

Sean Kingston

Sean Kingston

Beautiful Girl

Ok I tried to ignore it but it gets on my nerves so badly I simply cannot let it die down without me venting my frustrations.

This big pie faced ass faux rude bwoy bubble gum singer.

When I first heard it I just changed the channel and passed it off as something only those top 100 radio stations would play.

A week later though I heard his annoying ass in the car while I was putting in another CD. I knew I had to hate on this shit like no other.

Before we get on the video though I have to give ya'll a lil insight into who Sean Kingston is.

Born Ka'Shon Anderson in Miami, Kingston was raised in Jamaica till he was six. That explains his thick accent....

Waittt! this dude has no accent

He has a Jamaican flag chain and a vocorder though I guess that counts kinda.

I saw an interview last week with him on Direct Effect. That lame ass host what's his face, asked him if he had ever experianced the things he wailed about. This nigga said in sixth grade his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend........

What did she hold his hand after 4th period?

That's something you should've lied about buddy.

Everything about this guy is a joke to me. From his uni-brow to his on and off patois.

The video is creative I guess I'll give that to him. Since music videos are never quite explained I'm gonna take an educated guess that he's either some kind of time traveling fat boy or he's the reincarnation of some fat boy from the 40's. Either way this nigga is fat....with a uni-brow.......and makeup on.

The song is the international anthem for kids with low self-esteem. This shit is pathetic, she's out of your league so you're not even going to try?

You sound real gay right now my niggy!

At least give the big guys of America something to root for. Big Mike never makes excuses that's why he's the Big Nigga Of The Year. This guy just sits at the bar giving ole girl the stalker eyes wishing he had the testicular fortitude to say something. That's not the kind of message you send out Sean! Fat kids already feel bad, don't tell them not to even try to get any pussy. You might prevent the birth of another Sean Kingston....

On second thought

I know ya'll heard about him getting blasted on the radio cuz he was begging a chick for some cut??

C'mon Sean!

I really think this song is a cry for help ya'll, somebody put Kingston on suicide watch for he Kurt Cobain his big ass over his virgin..ness.


Some WTF moments

*I spied Lil Mama of "Worlds Ugliest Dog" fame making a cameo. You'll see her next to Kingston while he's singing in that booth surrounded by teenage impersonators. You might mistake her for a pterodactyl in a poodle skirt.

*J.R. Rotem looks like a Scott Storch impersonator... Without the whole AIDs thing going on.

*Fun video factiod: The main video vixen is Karinne "Superhead" Steffan's little sister "Slop Jaw".

Monthly Rant

Monthly Rant

Where did hip hop go ya'll?

Was it lost in a sea of diamonds and gold?

Did it get sidetracked by the allure of easy women and extravagant cars?

Were the listeners dumbed down in the pursuit of fun?

Or is it much deeper than that?

Were we taught to hate the land that the diamonds were ripped from? So that we wouldn't care about the injustices committed?

Were our fathers incarcerated for petty crimes so little black girls could grow up without a positive male image? Only to search for that feeling of self worth in countless partners?

Were our boys fed a slanted image of manhood?

Why do we feel the need to prove ourselves worthy of the world? So much so that we wear our lives out the door.

Why do we take pride in ignorance? I know several people whose only reading habits are magazines and text messages.

Its sad that something that started so positive has become an instrument in the destruction of our people.

I compare current hip hop to a poisonous flower. While its outwardly attractive the weak minded will be poisoned by its backward teachings.

While I love it for showing a side of American life often ignored, there's no balance being broadcasted.

Round the Clock bullshit advertising sex, drugs, violence, and monetary worship.

I'm sick of the state of hip hop and more dissapointed in the state of Black America.