Hater-Nation

MTB4

2008-01-30T15:00:00.000-08:00

MTB4

IT'S BACK!!!!

"I got that ignorant shit you love"

Mannnn I love this damn show, Nothing helps me put pen to pad like an hour of Puff's batshit insanity. Unlike alot of reality shows like the countless Flavor of Love spinoffs, this shit is real. While the producers may put them in situations to get a predicted response all in all its unscripted.

The show opens with Diddy re-caping us on the events of the past year. Danity Kane blah blah blah...Million records sold blah blah blah....Revolutionary Boy Band.

Ya'll get it.

I'm offended he didnt mention his bottom bitches Da Band, while they only sold half a mil, the second season was by far the best. Although sometimes it made you ashamed of your race....Well maybe that feeling never quite went away while watching. It was by far the most entertaining, Fights, Crazy flip outs, Choppa ole Kermit the Frog lookin ass.

I'd give all 11 of these soft ass niggas away for another season of MTB2.

Well no use crying over spilled milk...

The Boyss land in NYC first. Everyone looks the same except Robert looks like he gained the weight that Big Mike lost. I really dont care if that nigga blow up like Pun as long as I never see that damn bedazzled fedora agian...

I hope he burned that shit along with his ex boyfriends number.

I swear that chick sounded like she was swangin....

The guys look happy to see each other though and you cant help but feel the excitement too.

Then they cut to Donnie, our favorite eye-talian, who looks like bathes in olive oil that nigga is beyond greasy.

Pro-Active could make a mint off developing a Body Scrub for this dude.

Anyways he gets mobbed by a few 12 yr olds and their mom who thought he was Christopher from the Sopranos.

Any attention is good attention though right?

Finally they get to our favorite D-list girl group Danity Kane.

A quick rundown of the girls

Aubrey- Smells like Chanel No. 5 and Slut

D Woods- Monstrous Fatty and a lopsided mullet

Dawn - Doesn't really look like Choppa in drag anymore, cuteness debatable.

Shannon- Looks like the 13th wife of a commune leader

Aundrea - Hobbit...

All jokes aside I would smash every single one of these chicks except for Shannon, she looks really really really lame... like play's Bridge with her grammy on Tuesday nights lame.

The girls find their crib and catch up on shit, Meanwhile at the House that Biggie Built Puffarelli is having a Get-That-Cake meeting with the Dream Team.

I guess a nigga done ran outta unreleased B.I.G material, but thats a problem easily solved Diddy.

First get Guerilla Black on board with this nefarious plan, Shouldnt be hard he back at his momma's crib.

Secondly hire a ghost writer cuz Black cant spit and preferably not the nigga you use Puff.

Third pour some cement over Wallace's grave cuz he may just come back to strangle your bitch ass.

Everyone then heads to the Bad Boy offices for individual meetings, While waiting for the Boss to summon them. These Boyss were sittin there looking timid, sweating and shit not one to be bored, Aubrey immediately slides into her role as the consummate whore making up a story about Donny on the third floor of the Marriott with some groupie jumpoff.

This nigga was so scared of these girls that he didnt even deny it.

I dont understand the logic of it all, Yeah they fine and was on T.V but so were you dumbass! Don't you still eat, shit, and speak the same?

First up for review were the only nameless musical act in existence.

Diddy made em take off the caps to scope for fresh cuts, everybody passed so they were spared a trip to Bangledesh for a circus monkey or whatever crazy punishment Diddy had thought up.

Basically the meeting is just them playing catch up, Puffy makes a joke then the guys just laugh nervously like he had a gun on em.

Poppa Diddy would prolly respect they asses more if they didnt act like a buncha Mike Vick puppies! Flinchin and shit....Bitches!

Iight we gonna have to side track for a moment here, When this shit re-runs, and it will. Watch closely for the secretary that calls them in this lady looks like she shops with a time machine. This nigga here got a 80's power skirt on that her momma prolly wouldn't wear in 84'.

When the girls go in its the same shit but when the meeting adjourns Puff keeps Aubrey back for a pep talk.

He basically tells the skeet skeet that she cant be fuckin up the money by getting negative press. What kind of negative press you ask?

Being fat and changing her hair color....

Did he forget the ones about him boning her on the regular and knocking her up??

Stupid ass

Man its clear Diddy was smashing her they got that wierd uneasiness goin on that follows having a sexual encounter that can never be spoken of...ever.

He then releases her and the other 10 contractual slaves to go have a nice night out on Bad Boy's dime.

Let me start off by saying the beauty of Dawn's ass cannot be described in any words in any modern language.

When she turned around and asked if it was too much I damn near fell over, her shit is on point!

Now that thats out of the way Boss man hooked em up with a limo and The Boysss acted like they never had a prom.

Act like you been somewhere nigga!

Then when they stopped to pick up the girls Donny was faced with a decision any man would have in this rare situation.

It's a very important decision dont get it twisted, Every woman in the clique is Bad, which one gonna drop drawers?

He picked the most obvious choice of course, Aubarella.

She is said to have slept with Diana Ross ole fruity ass son she definitely gonna give Donny Brasco a taste.

There's only one problem...

These niggas is scared of semi-celebrity pussy!

It was soooo quiet in the limo D.K. pulled out the sidekicks, very bad sign on any date, Donny had the bad idea to try and break the ice.

Be warned were going on Cornball Alert...

Donny: "They should call you Danity Phones" CORNBALL

Guys: Chuckle

Aubrey: "Well it's sad when there's 6 guys in the car and all 5 girls are on their phones"

Guys: Tear up a little

She hit them niggas hard they couldn't say shit, Even LL Cool Will was hushed.

Once they get to the club and that liquor in em they get loose.

Everybody pairs up too

Dirty Q:Dawn

Donny:Aubrey

Robert:D Woods

Jesus:Shannon

Big Mike:The Wall

Then the DJ played both the groups songs and MTV hushed the boos from the crowd. Naw their songs are Iight in a club setting I guess.

After the club they hit up the 40/40 and Q spittin at Dawn on the couch.

He had her too if they cameras wasn't on em he woulda had her in the bathroom somewhere.

He said he liked to hear girls snore though, you gotta let her in on fetishes easy son!

Save the snoring for the third date then you start easing in the chains and the farm animals.

Shannon and Aundrea were in the corner like the fat friends. They wasn't hating tho I respect them and I prolly woulda chose Aundrea cuz she cute in a woodland creature sorta way.

LL Cool Will kinda was surprised by Aubrey and Donny though, borderline hating. He know she's a Maserati and Donny's a 89' Buick LeSabre.

Aubrey the type to pull some frightening shit on a nigga, have you in therapy afterwards.

They decided to hit the studio next and Big Mike had an epiphany.

"They're just..........girls"

Deep Nigga... Deep.

In the words of my eldest cousin

"No matter how fine a female is she's still just a female, the pussy still smell the same".

Wise fuckin words.

Puffarelli rolls through a hits them with the challenge.

All of them will be making an album at the same time.

Here's the M. Night Shyamalan twist though they only have 5 weeks to make it.

5 weeks nigga???

Jay dont make a album in 5 weeks shit he dont make a mixtape in that short of a time frame.

Every aspiring music mogul out there take notes on how not to make good music from Mr.Combs.

The girls are up first for recording and they sound good, they've been working together for a while now and the experiance shows.

Their song is called "Anybody out there" a ballad about angst and all that gay shit.

While they were puttin in work Dirty Q snuck in the room and hit Dawn up with the digits his numbers and his age.

Dude only 19

Dawn is like 25

I know cuz my father knew her father in New Orleans, they used to play ball together.

Anyways Pops said he saw her as a baby back in 83'/84'

She said it was a no go cuz of dude age but come on we all know that aint the truth.

The dudes have a dumb ass song called "Co-Star" about some more gay shit.

Mike tried to explain it but he aint even know what it was about.

They sounded good I thought but Diddy came through and being the expert judge of music that he is started shitting on Brian's flow.

How in the fuck is a tone-deaf nigga like Puff gonna judge anybody's singing?

We heard "Last Night" nigga!

You sounded like a Special Education class's Christmas recital.

Plus that nigga's jacket looked like hyena leather...hyena afflicted with mange leather.

I mean that shit was UGLY! I'm sure ya'll agree with me.

Talk to you next week fam.

Soulja Boy - YAHHH!!

2008-01-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

Soulja Boy-

Yahhhh

I hate this lil nigga with all my heart and soul

I hate his fuck-tard scribble sunglasses!

I hate his ubiquitous dance!

I hate his simple ass remedial rhymes!

This nigga is a klansmans wet dream... Its like Ronald Reagan (that nigga ain't lost his mind) and Bill O'Reilly got together to genetically engineer a super-coon.

A nigger that could jig and juke for hours fueled only by a diet of hot pickles, 99 cent chips, and Watermelon AriZona juice and still have energy to shine a mirror onto a pair of wingtips.

A nigger that could make a page of unintelligible bullshit so catchy that even the strong minded edumacated African American finds themselves tapping a toe to the shit.

I didnt there could ever be a more exploitive form of entertainment than Ministrel shows but I think this trails closely behind.

This song seriously has 24 bars between two niggas and the coldest line is

Ain't got time for chitchat
I'm tryin to get this money
So get up out my face
You shit-breath dummy

You serious?!? That's the best shit you could think of????

That wasn't even Soulja Boy those words came from his lil minion of ignorance Arab (pronounced A-Rab).

Normally I'm all about a young dude getting gwap any kind of way but you gotta draw the line somewhere.

Aint Shit to mention about this video except Rocsi and Terrance are prolly announcing it at number 1 right about now..

FUCK BET, FUCK MR. COLLIPARK TWICE FOR THE YING-YANG TWINS, AND FUCK SOULJA BOY MOMMA FOR KEEPING HIS RETARDED ASS (this is exactly why you shouldn't make babies with your brother)

SOME WTF MOMENTS

*Cheap Brittney Spears look-a-likes homie?

You coulda got the real thing and some head for a gram of coke, a family pack of Funyuns, and a half a bottle of that Hen.

Stupid ass!

*Just when you thought it couldn't get worse this dude has a big lipped neanderthal retard claymation version of himself in the video... Well I guess it wasn't that far off.

*When did they start giving out F's in Special Classes ya'll? Fuck that how exactly do you get one? I imagine he consistently colored outside the lines and blurted random Yahhahhaahaas out during nap time.

* Okay when they start throwing the paper in class watch the lil asian girl....she cant dance for shit!

* See what niggas buy with ringtone money! this cat has a $30 office depot chair welded to a 22 inch rim.

Uninspired

2008-01-15T16:05:00.000-08:00

Uninspired

Sorry to all my Hater-Nation fam, I haven't been bringing the hate lately.

To be truthful I have about 8 posts sitting half-done and half-assed but I refuse to deliver sub-par content.

Right now the legend Ronnie Mex is killing it so I'm content for now to enjoy his shit.

But I see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel...

MTB4 - 1/28/08

WowMarion - Girlfriend

2007-12-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

LiL Bow Wow ft Omarion -

Girlfriend

Mannn I been waiting on this moment for a long time...

Man I been hating on these niggas for as long as I remember, Almost as long as I've hated Usher's ole Planet of the Ape's lookin ass

I'mma dedicate this post to all the niggas who had a girlfriend all enchanted by the magic of these Keebler elves.

I mean look at LiL Bow Wow this nigga is 5'6, Omarion is like 5'8 compared to the video hoes these niggas look like hobbits

Size 9 shoe wearing ass niggas...

Lets get into it!

First this whole video poorly covers up these guys love affair

Shit the whole beginning to this video is Hella gay

Sooo O is laid up with some yella at the crib and you drops everything to go meet Bow at the "Spot"

He even picked something special out to wear

???????

I mean look at that "I know he cheating" smile from Bow Wow's Blackanese model

Then Omarion got his girl feelin him up but he kinda half assed into it

I guess he outta them penis flavored toothpicks Puffy sent him...

But above all the homosexuality this video makes no sense

The song is about a special someone who they keep handcuffed day and night

So you start off thinking the first two chics are the mentioned Girlfriends

Then these niggas go a lesbian bar and leave with two other women???

Any other person would be confused by this...Not I!

Why else would gay men go to a lesbian bar??

To go meet up with some hardcore dykes and get it poppin' strap on style....

Did I go to far???

Anyways I always knew these niggas were Colon Cowboys this video was just concrete proof

In the words of Riley Freeman

"Ewww Niggah You Gay!"

Some WTF Moments!

* That last girl is one of the actresses on Hell Date, You know its bad as an actress when you playin a video trick for these midget ass niggas

* I like how O went in for a kiss and then faked homegirl out I understand tho,both of em had Mac lip gloss on, that shit might have gotten smeared.....

*Whats up with that Frankenstein-esque picture? Its like these niggas wanted to see what their love child will look like soon as Bow figure out how Tameka Foster pushed a child through her dick hole.

*Every woman in the room is taller than these cats.. Thats not a joke

T.I.(P) - Hurt

2007-10-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

T.I.(P) -

HURT

Damn I really fear for the man who decides to test T.I.(P)'s gangsta!

Look at him!

5 foot 3

Baby Gap Thermal

Size 28 Jeans

Osh Kosh Beanie placed ever so carefully on his dome

Not to mention those fuckin nostrils..

If they flare out any further he's gonna split his own damn nose!

With a nose like that there's no way he dont do coke...

He put more white in his body than New York and SupaHead during All-Star weekend

and just like them smutty bitches he could prolly suck a piece of paper off the floor standing up!

Now thats gangsta...

I bet Chaka's hands still hurt from the beating they took from Tip's bony ass body

Mannnn!

Everything in this video is so-so gangsta!

Dirty Broken Windows

Abandoned Buildings

Black Baseball Bat

I bet Mr. Harris's stylist thought the chain around his neck was a nice touch

I'm getting too old for this shit!

I just can't feel that hardcore rap shit when its done on closed sets with rappers that don't do the shit they promote.

I can see the base powder they put on that high-yella smurf!

Anyways on to Alfamega

What the fuck kind of name is Alfamega?

I'd rather listen to Reh Dogg

This nigga kinda looks like Big Tigger and The Game's love child

And since I aint never heard of this cat before I decided to check out his myspace for a little info.

What I found was appalling!

I advise those with heart problems to simply scroll down quickly

Industry insiders are comparing Alfamega to the late Tupac and Notorious B.I.G.,
because of lyrical content, style and the fact that all three share the
Astrological sign, Gemini. Alfamega is quickly being dubbed the last chapter of
the “Gemini Trilogy”. Alfamega is bigger than just music.

In the words of Kanye

" I hear niggas compare themselves to BIG alot/ You know Big and Pac/ You know to get it hot"

But never have I ever seen someone compare astrological signs and attribute it to lyrical prowess.

This nigga said the "Gemini Trilogy"...

This ain't Starwars homie..

Plus didn't the late greats die horrible violent deaths?

You sure you wanna end that trilogy?

Lets take a look at Alf's lyrics and see how it stacks up to "Juicy" or "Dear Mama"

**k niggas might talk loud, act real
But they don’t really want this here
Pussy niggas better act right, lay low
We know where yo' family live
Trust me you don’t want me up in yo' crib
Wit' a ski mask on duct taping your kids
You can pray all you want
But I don’t forgive
You should have been doin' nothing
But ya did what ya did
I ain’t gotta spell it out, pimp, you know what it is
The rest gangsta on the real man you know what it is
Plus I got a hundred goons wit' me
Dressed in black
Fifty at the front door, fifty at the back
Half got 'Ks, half got macs
Bring ‘em out, bring ‘em out

Dumb Fuck!
How dare anyone compare this retard to any legend...
Ole Dirty would shit on this nigga in a crack induced haze
Thats like Supahead comparing herself to Oprah after she smiles for the pop shot...
I aint gonna say nothing about Busta
That man got paid off this stupid shit, more power to him, he gotta pay for all them court dates
Some WTF Moments
*Who the hell let that white boy in the video lookin like Matt Herbz (the white boy before that white boy DJ Drama)
*Who really believes that Tip stay strapped under that smedium thermal... Nigga I can see your ribs!
*WTF was the point of them four niggas doing some sort of chain gang dance... Now that was gangsta!..especially when they twirled around like a helicopter
*It looks like Tip really loves to dangle large flaccid objects in front of his face

Lil Mama

2007-09-04T13:38:00.000-07:00

Lil Mama ft some old man
G-Slide

Guess who decided to capitalize on the ever popular nursery rhyme dance craze???

Everyone's favorite teenage pterodactyl Lil Mama thats who!

Man I know Breezy did this one and I try to stay away from A.H.M (Already Hated on Material) but ya'll know how much I love to hate on this broad!

First, she kinda looks like what I would describe as a man,
A very ugly man with second degree burns to the facial area.

Secondly While I respect her skills, she went kinna hard on Jay's beat, her direction is all off.

Chris Brown is around her age and you dont see him singing about action figures and getting heavy spins on Radio Disney.

I mean the whole Dora the Explorer look is a good look when you're a 12 year old rapper, when you 17 going on 45 it aint cute.

Okayy lets get to the video.

When Lil Mama stepped out of the Chateau Mama housing projects I thought it was Jim Jones with his hair down.

I know Lil Ma is a bit tom-boyish, shit her voice is a little deepish for a female kinda like a Bow Wow or Omarion. But the way she dressin she's one step away from lookin like Snoop on The Wire...

And that means she's one step away from lying facedown reciting Twista lyrics with Da Brat....

Lets move on.

Next Lil Mama is outted by Flava Flav's baby girl Miraclisha, and you know nobody likes to be proved wrong by a crack baby.

So with a bit of dragons breath, a shimmy, and a shake Lil Mama took some acid whilst no one looked and began an odd bedazzled Sesame Street drug trip.

Like a ghetto fairy, she turned 124th and Lennox into a sunshiney playground where the Lip Gloss flowed free and little girls could swing their beaded heads in tune to the beat.

Seriously did all those lil girls have beads in their hair? What happened to bow-rettes?

When Venus and Serena finally realised that the whole "Ribbon in The Sky" look was not poppin everyone else should have taken the hint.

On to this old ass nigga rappin with her...

Every opportunity to get some shine isn't always a good one.

He's like 45 and his entire flow is kissin Lil Mama all in her ass crack, that shit dont sound right.

Thats like Jay devoting a CD to how Lil Bow Wow influenced his career.

Anyways the Video is Iight, I guess if I were 5 I would be geeked up about this shit....maybe

Some WTF Moments

* Dont the nameless Old dude look just like Tim from "The Shop"

* Why Lil Mama muff Miraclisha in the head so fuckin hard? Dont she know Flav's kids aint working with alot? the last thing she need his head trauma.

* Again I must stress how absolutely horrifying Lil Mama looks, I'm sure that if Usher and Tameka find a way to get that baby out of her penis its gonna look just like Lil Mama.

*Sorry bout the horrendous waits between posts fam, I'm trying to learn this new software for a job opportunity*

Lil Wayne

2007-08-28T09:46:00.001-07:00

Birdman ft Lil Wayne-

Pop Bottles

Whats Good Ya'll!

Man I saw this shit last week and I absolutely couldnt wait to hate on this shit to the fullest extent.

Sadly I like the song..well I like Lil Wayne's verse but his behavior in the video is so spastic and strange I have to shit all over this.

Theres so many things wrong with this video but first and foremost why Wayne and his Young Money flunkies drinking during the game?

Why is Jadakiss the coach for that matter??

Shittt fuck all that, Why they all got Oklahoma jerseys on???

I'm sooooo confused!

Lil Wayne is a strange fellow and I'm pretty sure he was inebriated by quite a few things during this shit. Theres no way he could have really made that buzzer beater.

Shit the basket prolly looked like a giant cucumber to that pill poppin gremlin.

Whatever...

If it helps his creative process I'm all for it,

I swear I'm gonna wake up one morning and hear Wayne drowned in a pool of his own vomit.

I can see it all now...

Baby singing "Stuntin Like My Daddy" at the wake.

Trina in a black veil and a mini skirt.

The makers of Vicodin quietly sobbing in the corner.

What a sad day for us all.

All jokes aside what in the fuck is Jadakiss's purpose?

Okay I get it you sampled "Put Ya Hands Up"

Do you ever see Kanye putting Shirley Bassey in the "Diamonds" video?

Or the hundreds of other artists he's sampled?

Don't even get me started on Birdman's flow.

I think he has the alzheimers...

This nigga just kinda rambles on and onnn

You can't have a normal human conversation with this guy.

It's not possible.

"Sooo Birdman what do you think about President Bush's stance on gay marriage?"

"Lil Daddy look here, dont ask me bout' no
faggadation ya understand!, I dont know nothin' and I aint seen shit nigga ya
dig! I do know bout them 26's on that Presidental Phantom ya heard! Respect my
gangsta!"

Not to mention he's been dead for about 6 years now.

I mean c'mon this dudes face looks like he got hit with the World Trade Center.

I digress...

Video is okay if not a little confusing but just sit back and enjoy the coonery.

Some WTF Moments

*Why did Wayne boot up at that cheerleader after she winked at him? Oh yea Baby gets jealous so you gotta keep that hetero shit on the low low.

I get it.

*Whats with all the red? Dont they know its corny for couples to dress alike?

*Once agian I must stress that Baby looks like a re-animated corpse. That nigga so ugly his tattoos set up a removal appointment.

*Jadakiss looks like an obese ninja turtle without the shell

MTB4

2007-08-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

MTB4

THE FINALE-LIVE

I'm happy to say that last nights finale did not dissapoint at all.

Diddy was in his prime and the whole event almost made you forget what a graveyard Bad Boy is....Almost.

Iight first thangs first, Who else was confuzzled by the fake MADE intro???

"I'm In!"

That made me chuckle

After the second unneccessary intro we were treated to an accapella version of "End of the Road"....Agian.

I'm so sick of that fucking song, If I never ever hear it agian it will only be too soon. I swear they made the dudes sing it every episode. No wonder Puff looked so damn bored!

He had wayyy better shit to do than listen to "End of the Road" and "Can You Stand the Rain" on loop. Like getting a mani/pedi or trying to convince his sons to wax them fuckin eyebrows.

Anyways the guys sounded Iight, Actually them niggas kinda hurt my ears.

When you got 10 guys on stage singing their hearts out for a dream its gon get ugly.

I think Donnie was catchin some 'bows to the side of the dome.

Seriously Homie was getting knocked around in between DyShon and Willie.

After that performance The Master of Ceremonies Sway came out in all his prison glory.

Sway looks like that nigga that was locked up for a couple of years and never really came out of the prison mentality.

He dont ever dress up...ever

I remember at one of them MTV awards dude was rockin a satin head wrap and some dress slacks.

At least the guys look presentable....well some of them do.

Mike lost another 14lbs and Jeremy lost some facial hair,that nigga looked straight up like a fresh shaven vagina.

We all knew he was a pussy, he really didnt have to look the part.

Sway then explains that Diddy would be making cuts throughout the show and introduced the "Dream Team" minus Boom Kack.

The new choreographer is Jamaica,who looked like she had a Minnie Mouse costume on.

But all the usuals showed up

Biv

Ankh Ra

Slam

Cox

Never one to be out-done Diddy came out to the theme of "Last Night"

I'm so trained at changing that bullshit I sat straight up and reached for the remote.

Anybody else notice that Puff wears a uniform now?

Everytime you see this nigga he got on a motorcycle-esque jacket and a white tee.

Thats a sign of aging.

My grandpa only wears Navy blue work suits and house slippers.

After his grand entrance Diddykins let the viewers ask him some questions.

First up was Jameela from Connecticut.

She kind of looked like what I envisioned Roberts boy...girlfriend to look like.

She asked Puff if he was really as crazy as he acted on the show....

You asking a man who made a video of himself peeing if he's crazy???

ok

Then there was the Bloopers

I gotta admit I was laughin my ass off when Dirty Q and Carlos woke errbdy up at 3 in the morning.

That shit woulda never happened on MTB2 though.

Babs woulda cut them niggas for fuckin with her Get Fresh sleep time.

The next morning when Qwanell was asleep they gave dude the R Kelly redlight special.
It was funny cuz he was'nt even shocked to wake up to wet sheets....

Then Diddy split the guys up into two teams

First, DeAngelo, Dysho, Robert and Donnie performed, "If It Isn't Love."

Next, Brian H., Brian A., Mike, Jeremy and Willie

I liked team 2 a lil better but I think Jeremy would have been alot more convincing if they let Jeremy switch all the "girl"s with "boy"s

I know I'm going hard on the dude but he know he gay.

After the performance Diddy makes the first cut

and its the 40 year old virgin Dy'Shon

Notears shed over that one I hardly knew dude was in the house and he look older than my pops.

After the guys pretended to be sad, Donnie hopped on the piano for a slow version of
"Exclusive"

My head really hurt after that one.

It was like a Dru Hill concert with Keith Sweat and KC and JoJo all singing simultaneously.

Shit add Beyonce in there for good measure.

Then Diddy cut Brian H for talkin that "Tryin to play me" shit.

Niggas act like Diddy dont watch the tapes.

But the show must continue

Diddy let Danity Kane out the cage for their first apperance in a couple of months.

The girls looked good though especially Dawn.
didnt she used to look like Chopper with a wig?

There was also this wierd vibe between Aubrey and Diddy

I know he was hitting it until she blew up like Brittany Spears.

Shit Dirty Q will still work with ya Aubrey that nigga has sex with lamp posts.

Then came Yung Joc's futile attempt to sell his shit album "Hustlenomics"
"Coffee Shop" is sooooooo bad!

Plus Gorilla Zoe sounded like he chain smoke car mufflers while doing gay porn part-time.
Ask Aubrey bruh you gotta spit when it comes to Diddy.

Then Puff did that dumb ass arrangement thingy.

Didnt we vote for this fuckin band? Why Diddy pretending that he's making the decision?

That shit got me heated cuz there was like 5 min left and he fuckin around, I really thought he was gonna announce another show in front of Kim's new house or something.

Then he hit us with a shocker........he was making it a 5 man band!

In the spirit of The Jackson 5 he said....
I bet ya'll $17 Qwanell gonna be dangling his child out the car window in 10 years.

Back to the Show

With 3 min left on the clock Puff chose the Robert "The Rhinestone Cowboy" as the first to make it.

Then Willie "L.L. Cool Will"
Then Qwanell "Dirty Q"
Then Brian A. "Mighty Mouse"

And last but not least

Big Mike
"Big Nigga Of The Year"

If Big Mike aint make it I woulda just turned the damn TV off really and truely.

Oh Wait theres one more thing Donnie got a solo deal with Bad Boy!
I think thats worth $500 and a Sean Jhon velour in USD.

After the announcement It was straight pandemonium!

Diddy was doing his best Tom Cruise
The Boys were crying and jumping all over each other
Ankh Ra was suckin up Slam during the confusion

I kinda felt bad for DeAngelo though my dude was just kinda lost like
"What about me Puff?...You still lookin for an assistant?"

Its kinda sad cuz after all their hard work these guys are gonna put out one or two CD's and then end up just like Danity Kane or countless others before them.

Shit New Edition will always let ya'll come on tour with them.

It's Bad Boy Baby!

Ty-Real

2007-08-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Ty-Real

Beat The Beat Up

No Hate this time just check out the homie Ty-Real's YouTube site. He does a real interesting video series in which he gives insight into his creative process. His beats in High School were fairly Kanye-ish but Its good to see someone progess in their craft.

Baby Bash ft T-Pain

2007-08-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Baby Bash ft T-Pain

Cyclone

The Wait Is Over!

I'm back ya'll!

Sorry for leaving you so long with no hate, I see the big homie Ronnie Mexx got a blog up so I knew I had to start posting agian real soon. Niggas already thought I was him, If I dissapeared that would look really suspect.

With no futher ado, I introduce you to the Worst song in America.

This shit makes my ears bleed, Vocodor hype man-ing mixed with some of the worst rhymes penned since "Must Be The Money"

I know many of you are asking, Who the Fuck is a Baby Bash?

Let me drop some knowledge on you

Back in '03 this nigga dropped one of the worst songs in history, "Suga Suga" and being that it was one of the worst songs in history white people loved it. Mexicans fell right into the trap too. I know theres not alot of Mexican artists getting that mainstream paper but c'mon this nigga is close to drooling on himself.

I feel like he draws words out of a bowl and tries to make sense out of them the best he can.

Look at that numba on the back of that bumpa?????

Shittt

Even Cam'Ron laughs at this nigga

Not only is he a waste of label funding this cat looks like a Mexican Ginuwine.

He better never let the PoPo catch him touching on little boys them C-Block niggas gonna have a Baby Bash forreal.

I really didn't even realise T-Pain was in this bullshit, Homie so dark all I could see was those damn white shades.

Why he always wearing those shits?

Didn't white plastic shades die with D4L's career?

Oh Wait..... wasnt T-Pain the nigga that was talking about Brandy's Brothers' penis? He prolly wear shades all the time so he can check out the package on the low low.

These down low bruthas are getting soo smart!

If it wasnt for the highlighted dreads or his infatuation with large penises I woulda never thunk it.

I'm so tired of strip club anthems, between Uncle Luke and the Ying Yang Twins stripper hoes have a catalog of songs thicker than the bible now.

Some WTF Moments

* Why does T-Pain have a bandana on his face? This nigga lives in the strip club you think he would be accustomed to the smell of day old salmon and coco butter.

*Did this strip club buy the old Soul Train set?? I swear I saw that asian chick with the Tong Po braid dancing in the background.

*What is that noise T-Pain is making at the end of the song? It kinda sounds like him and Baby Bash were playing Hot Wheels in the studio and decided Teddy's motorcycle noise was super badass.

The Delay

2007-08-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

I had my sim card stolen over the weekend so posting was impossible because I lost all of my writing and internet capabilites.

I should be getting a new one in a week or so

Why would a nigga steal my sim card and not my sidekick is perplexing

Fifty Cent

2007-08-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

Fifty Cent ft Justin Timberlake,

Timbaland made the beat and grunted

Ayo Technology

If you would have told me four years ago. That Ja Rule was gonna be
making a comeback and 50 cent was close to the biggest flop of his
career. I would have deemed you retarded and walked away.

Really what happened to Fifty? His first album is an undeniable classic,
what the fuck happened?

It seems the more money he makes the more his talent seems to diminish.
If you just look at it from a singles standpoint "In tha club", to
"Candy Shop", to "Amusement Park". The first was the heaviest played
record in history. "Candy Shop" was well received but dissapointed some
fans. This lastest shit gets no play even on BET, shit Rap City don't
play his video.

So here we are on single number four
"Ayo Pornography".

That was a little too risqué for television so the most rational name
change is
"Ayo Technology"

Righttttt

The lyrics go

Ayoooo!!!/
I'm tired of using "technology"/
I need you right in front of me

What are ya'll sleeping with robots???

Naw I'm getting ahead of myself...

They sleeping with dildos

I gotta take a detour to talk about the fucking slopes Tim got on the
back of his head. I counted 7, email me if you spot any more. Dude lost a
lot of weight and I applaud his transformation but the back of his head
could become the next big ski destination.

Naw I love Timbaland as a producer, as an artist.... not so much but
he's perfected his sound over the years. You can always appreciate when
someone has really mastered their craft even if its making a hamburger,
it becomes art when its done at a certain level.

The video is set with 50, J.T., and Tim as Super Secret Porn Addicts.

What makes them Super Secret you ask?

First Fifty has a gun that can see through clothing, he uses this to
spot trannies with the big homie Ma$e.

Then there's Timbo with the holographic television that can get all
those pay-per-view porn channels playing at once.

Last but not least Justin has the powers to touch all the right spots without actually touching anything

Perfect for our less endowed caucasian brothers.

Again I'm not feeling Fif's flow his shit sounds sooo remedial. He's
desperate right now he just keeps on hitting the studio trying to pump
out a hit. It's just not working, the magic is gone.

No complaints with the hook besides the hook. Seriously why are these
niggas talkin about beating off to porn? They all make millions all of
them are relatively good looking...Well maybe not 50, he kinda looks
like the Jersey Devil.

It just doesn't feel like the mean it, Forreal these guys see more pussy
than Playtex. Justin prolly aint beat off since the Mickey Mouse Club.

Good Video though

Some WTF Moments

*Why is 50 blinded for a lap dance?

Is that the new shit?

Nigga's going to the skrip club to smell hoes now? Just open a can of Chicken on the Sea son you can acheive the same effect.

*What are all the old white men doing?

They just sitting there reading the New York Times in a brothel?

Sean Kingston

2007-08-02T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sean Kingston

Beautiful Girl

Ok I tried to ignore it but it gets on my nerves so badly I simply cannot let it die down without me venting my frustrations.

This big pie faced ass faux rude bwoy bubble gum singer.

When I first heard it I just changed the channel and passed it off as something only those top 100 radio stations would play.

A week later though I heard his annoying ass in the car while I was putting in another CD. I knew I had to hate on this shit like no other.

Before we get on the video though I have to give ya'll a lil insight into who Sean Kingston is.

Born Ka'Shon Anderson in Miami, Kingston was raised in Jamaica till he was six. That explains his thick accent....

Waittt! this dude has no accent

He has a Jamaican flag chain and a vocorder though I guess that counts kinda.

I saw an interview last week with him on Direct Effect. That lame ass host what's his face, asked him if he had ever experianced the things he wailed about. This nigga said in sixth grade his girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend........

What did she hold his hand after 4th period?

That's something you should've lied about buddy.

Everything about this guy is a joke to me. From his uni-brow to his on and off patois.

The video is creative I guess I'll give that to him. Since music videos are never quite explained I'm gonna take an educated guess that he's either some kind of time traveling fat boy or he's the reincarnation of some fat boy from the 40's. Either way this nigga is fat....with a uni-brow.......and makeup on.

The song is the international anthem for kids with low self-esteem. This shit is pathetic, she's out of your league so you're not even going to try?

You sound real gay right now my niggy!

At least give the big guys of America something to root for. Big Mike never makes excuses that's why he's the Big Nigga Of The Year. This guy just sits at the bar giving ole girl the stalker eyes wishing he had the testicular fortitude to say something. That's not the kind of message you send out Sean! Fat kids already feel bad, don't tell them not to even try to get any pussy. You might prevent the birth of another Sean Kingston....

On second thought

I know ya'll heard about him getting blasted on the radio cuz he was begging a chick for some cut??

C'mon Sean!

I really think this song is a cry for help ya'll, somebody put Kingston on suicide watch for he Kurt Cobain his big ass over his virgin..ness.

Some WTF moments

*I spied Lil Mama of "Worlds Ugliest Dog" fame making a cameo. You'll see her next to Kingston while he's singing in that booth surrounded by teenage impersonators. You might mistake her for a pterodactyl in a poodle skirt.

*J.R. Rotem looks like a Scott Storch impersonator... Without the whole AIDs thing going on.

*Fun video factiod: The main video vixen is Karinne "Superhead" Steffan's little sister "Slop Jaw".

Monthly Rant

2007-08-01T08:08:00.000-07:00

Monthly Rant

Where did hip hop go ya'll?

Was it lost in a sea of diamonds and gold?

Did it get sidetracked by the allure of easy women and extravagant cars?

Were the listeners dumbed down in the pursuit of fun?

Or is it much deeper than that?

Were we taught to hate the land that the diamonds were ripped from? So that we wouldn't care about the injustices committed?

Were our fathers incarcerated for petty crimes so little black girls could grow up without a positive male image? Only to search for that feeling of self worth in countless partners?

Were our boys fed a slanted image of manhood?

Why do we feel the need to prove ourselves worthy of the world? So much so that we wear our lives out the door.

Why do we take pride in ignorance? I know several people whose only reading habits are magazines and text messages.

Its sad that something that started so positive has become an instrument in the destruction of our people.

I compare current hip hop to a poisonous flower. While its outwardly attractive the weak minded will be poisoned by its backward teachings.

While I love it for showing a side of American life often ignored, there's no balance being broadcasted.

Round the Clock bullshit advertising sex, drugs, violence, and monetary worship.

I'm sick of the state of hip hop and more dissapointed in the state of Black America.

MTB4

2007-07-31T13:03:00.000-07:00

MTB4
Oh,Father

What's good ya'll??

We comin down to the last episodes of MTB and I've never questioned any group of guys sexuality so much in my life.

Usually when I call a nigga gay I'm just slightly jealous of them and I can't come up with a better insult.

That's sadly not the case here, I bet if you met some of these brothers face-to-face you would smell the penis on their breath.

Moving On

That crazy hoe Laurie Ann has been sent to the valley of television obscurity and has been replaced by Jamal. A cooler, calmer, saner choreographer who presents the boysss with a intricate routine but he actually explains his shit.

Laurie Ann would have been screaming about Boom Kacks and the Gotcha Gotcha, Clad in her panties and nipple tassles. All the while Qwanell would be saving every moment in his spank bank for later.

Shit from the sound of Laurie's music she might be in need of a job soon.

Just another incentive to work hard Q!
I'm sure she wouldn't mind cattle prodding you in a black leather cat suit.

Anyways Jamal goes through the steps patiently and the guys actually learn the steps easily.

Except for poor poor handicapped Julius, my dude always look one word away from crying don't he?

I think he faking all that emotion man, it looks more like he's focusing on taking a shit.

Or a dick

I kid, I kid! Julius might be one of the only red blooded males in the house.

Have you seen Jeremy???

I didn't either, until tonight but the queer is strong in that one! He got a mean lisp! Jhonny Gil somewhere sitting on Eddie Murphy lap right now jealous as fuck!

Meanwhile Carlos gets released for a conjugal visit his girl Joserra. All hate aside he looks like a real nice guy, his pops left him as a child so he's determined to be there for his unborn. So he and Jossera hit up a pizzeria and discuss things, its good to see a dude trying to do right on TV cuz too often we see the opposite.

Back to the hate!

On the other side of town D'Angelo is getting his long locks cut off cuz Diddy didn't think it was cute.

I commend his dedication to his dreams, but come on the nigga is oogly regardless. He reminds me of Chamillionaire with braces.

So the boyssss take a trip to the studio next with Bryan Cox and Jack Knight. They're super excited about working with Cox!......

Ok I gotta take a slight detour tho to touch on Robert's fuckin bedazzled fedora.

Is that shit surgically attached to his skull??

My dude, although its okay to have a signature look. Neyo rocks Lip Gloss and Kangols, T Pain has his Oakley glasses and Highlighted dreads, D'Angelo wears....nothing.

But Rob you gotta embrace diversity in your clothing even Micheal Jackson changes his Drum Major Jacket and Pajama Bottoms on occasion.

Back at the Studio the guys get to hear their first track. I liked it, I can't see it playing in the club in Dallas, but it had a decent beat.

Robert, Big Mike, DyShon, Willie, and Jeremy did their thug-thizzle on the beat. While Julius just let his "depression" eat at him.

Nigga so what you can't dance? This is still a vocal competition, your fuckin leg don't have anything to do with your voice. Trust me I saw a man in a hover-round break it down in New Orleans once....

Ok I'm lyin but yall get what I'm sayin

When I saw this dude struggling with 'exclusive' I knew it was a done deal for Julius.
To his defense Julius can hardly speak so its not fair to expect him to pronouciate.

Donnie was just kind of lackluster so he knew he had to nail the dance routine. So he enlisted the help of that freaky nigga Qwanell and Carlos.

How they started comparing sex strokes is beyond me?

Qwanell talkin bout "You gotta feel the music"

Maybe that's some new NY slang for
"You gotta use lots of lubricant".

After Q got his jollies they all called it a day and went to bed except for Carlos. He got a call from Joserra about complications with the baby. You could see it on his face that he was going through it. I sincerly felt bad for ole dude but he just hoped for the best.

Then news came that the child had downs syndrome and that just broke him. That's life sometimes it fucks you over but you gotta go on.

And so must the show

A lil funny moment to me was when Julius was talking to Qwanell about his cripple status. Then Qwanell start crackin jokes and Julius looked like he was gonna crack him in the head with that crutch. Everything Q said was true though if you gonna be weak in one area just work harder on your singing.

I wouldn't take advice from that nigga either though

He looks like he has sex with blowup dolls....

Male blowup dolls

The next day is eliminations so errbody is on their best behavior dancing in the mirror doing vocal excercises. Something was different though.....

Oh yea Donnie had hit up Staten Islands "Guido Gear" the day before. This muhfucka had the full addidas track suit with the chains.
Maybe he thought this would make him look the part and therefore he would be more confident.

I seen Italians dance though, they look like they're drunk

Oh yea that's because they are.....

Anyways his heart was in the right place

On the boysss march to elimination, I gotta give it to em though all these dudes are extremely talented.....

Except for Dy'Shon I aint even know that dude existed before this episode.

First Diddy had them dance and surprise, surprise the niggas have the routine down!

I guess when your not distracted by a half nekkid woman screaming at the top of her lungs, you can pick things up a little easier.

Shit I'm completely off subject now but that reminds me of that part in Beloved when that lady just show up butt ass outta nowhere. I've never seen that movie all the way through, somebody explain that to me in the comments.

Diddy was secretly impressed behind those aviators.

I saw him sucking on that penis flavored toothpick a lil too hard.

Anyways Big Mike was putting it down as usual. I really sick of P.Diddy and the fam acting all surprised when ole dude delivers amazing performances. Like fat people are retarded or something.

Again Mike needs to get the Christopher Wallace Big Nigga Achievement Award.

Now Julius was an entirely different story, dude was understandably terrible when it came to dancing. I mean he did the best he could on his cripple ass leg.

Carlos was missing steps as well but I like the dude so were gonna let him pass.

But come on Julius forgetting the words son, just cuz you have crutches that don't mean you have to be retarded too.

Having a hurt leg aint enough reason to fall into depression. The fact that your child might have downs syndrome is. You never saw Carlos complain though, he never once tried to explain why he was off. That was him man-ing up and taking responsibility for himself, Something Julius never did. Julius eliminated himself from the get go when he chose to feel sorry for himself and expect everyone else to follow suit.

Ya'll know who got the boot

The rest get to travel back home for two long months. When they return Diddy expects to see some SuperStarssss.

Some WTF moments

*Who's that chick with the Rapunzel weave in the studio with the guys?

*Why Mike and Robert always wearing shades in the dark? Only Musiq should be allowed to do that shit. That's cuz that nigga so cock eyed he can see behind himself.

*Why Julius girl sound like Oprah from Beloved

My bad about the timing yall

MTB4

2007-07-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

MTB4 Delay

Sorry yall the MTB4 recap is gonna be slightly late cuz I have a early morning engagement. Check back around 2 or 3 pm

Hate On Haters,
*Future*

The Usher Chronicles

2007-07-28T17:18:00.000-07:00

Another Update for ya'll, looks like this one is the last.

According to my snitch, Tameka angry and humiliated then turned to her in a blind rage.
Screaming "You wanted this! You never approved of what we had!"

She then got physical and attempted to grab at her hair.

Fortunately other family members were around to intervene and during the struggle Tameka's secret was finally revealed.

"At first I couldn't believe what I was seeing, sticking out of her robe was the biggest, blackest penis I've ever seen!" said my source.

Tameka then rose calmly put "herself" back into her robe and left the mansion silently.

"We were all extremely apalled! I knew Usher was a little sweet but I didn't think he was a full fledged colon cowboy!"

Other members of the Raymond family tried to get him to leave the room and when there was no answer. They forced the door open only to find it empty. Usher hadn't been there for hours maybe, it appeared that he snuck out the window during all the commotion.

His whereabouts are currently unknown, If anyone has any information or has spotted the superstar anywhere please contact

Thatboi2487@tmail.com or gmail.com

My condolensces to both families in these troubling times.

The Usher Chronicles

2007-07-28T16:06:00.000-07:00

Okay every member of staff has just been asked to vacate the facilities.

Luckily for Hater-Nation my insider is an extremely close relative of Usher's.

So the exclusives just keep rolling in

According to Mrs. R.... umm my source Usher had been locked up in the room he was last seen entering to for about an hour. When Tameka came back and started to beg to be let back in.

"She was all kinds of upset, begging and pleading for at least a half hour" said my source.

After she received no answer Tameka reportedly started to get angry and violent.

"She started to bang on the door insisting he let her in or she was going to let herself in, her sheer strength surprised me, she was almost like......a man."

More Later

Exclusive Shit!

2007-07-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

***********Usher Update*************

My source has just given me a call, they couldn't stay on long but what they could reveal was very interesting.

After my source pocketed the pills and some of the cash. They didn't have to search very long to find where Usher had run off to.

He was yelling bloody murder from the second floor.

By the time my mole got up to the scene of the squabble the door was closed and a small crowd had gathered around the room.

Ush was overheard yelling

"How could you do this without consulting me first! Why wouldn't you take my thoughts into consideration!"

Tameka then screamed back

"Its my body! I have the right to get rid of whatever makes me unhappy! I've always told you that one day I wanted to make the full change!"

Tameka then ran out of the room visibly shaken and crying uncontrollably.

What could she be getting rid of????

More later

Exclusive Shit!

2007-07-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

**********Exclusive Shit!!!*************

Usher Raymond IV has called off his wedding to Tameka Foster today.

While other sites fail to deliver anything more than speculation only Hater-Nation has the inside scoop!

It is a well known superstition that if you see your bride the on the day of the wedding the marriage will be doomed from start.

Keep this in mind

Around 10 am this morning after Ushers morning pilates and grapefruit parfait. He was seen by my source rummaging through one of Tameka's large Louis Vuitton bags. It is said that he likes to use Tameka's firming cream on occasion.

Only this time he pulled out a little orange bottle full of pills.

He then stormed down the hallway yelling for Tameka, bottle in hand.

My source then lost sight of him as he rushed through the Reid Mansion like a man posessed.

Fortunately for us my snitch went back to the then empty room and investigated the bag.

What was found is shocking to say the very least. Along with a makeup compact, several hundred dollars in cash, and a small nose hair trimmer. Another bottle of Estrogen pills were found stashed under a box of extra large condoms.

More Updates to come later in the day

Freestyle Fridays

2007-07-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

Okay I'm gonna declare Fridays my day of rest since I hit ya'll with two yesterday.

But I'mma just post some of the stuff that caught my eye on the internet this week.

I'm big into Streetwear hence the Jeff Staple and Hypebeast links, So heres the gear of the week

Gear of The Week

CLOT Alienegra Yellow Camo Tee

CLOT is a streetwear company owned by Hong Kong celeb Edisen Chen,

This may look like an ordinary tee but it actually reveals a reflective camo print in photos

Retails for $278 USD

Video Of The Week

I have a soft spot for dance crazes especially since I can never do any of them so my clip of the week is..

The Soulja Boy

I'm also a MINI enthusiast, laugh all you want, I love my lil car so heres my

Car Of The Week

07' Mini Cooper S

Astro Black

Next Week We'll Continue the Hate

Fifty Cent

2007-07-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

50 A.k.a Ferrarri F50
I Get Money

This nigga's a clown and this video is his circus.

I know I've said this before but the most unfocused video ever. Most 50
videos have a weak plot, this one makes no attempt to even try.

Straight foward coonery shoved right down your throat.

I mean I know you paid for this yourself Fif, but homie you just got 100
mil!

No excuses, why you got them girls in prop spinny chairs????

White girl contortionists?
Dancing Baby's in Kangols?
The combo Dumb Out/Jerk Off Dance??

I'm soo confused!

He's trying his fuckin hardest to get us to buy his weed plate of an
album.

Look at the marquee at the bottom!

Not so Subliminal Messaging runs throughout the video. Some of its
propaganda reads

OBEY KING 50
#1
THIS IS HIP HOP
I RUN NEW YORK
WATCH THIS SUCKA
And my personal favorite
PAY ATTENTION STUPID!

Its not working Fif, unless you see me at Best Buy and put a gun to my
head I'm not buying.

In the words of George Dubya

"Fool me once, shame on-shame on you. Fool me-you can't get fooled
agian"

Yeaaaa nigga I remember "Gatman" I wanted to see if that Tahoe you got
is really bomb-proof after that bullshit.

There's no focus to this shit all so here's some WTF moments

*Why is all of G-UNIT in the background faux-beating their meat? That's
not a dance niggas, it looks like ya'll about to do some bukkake porn to
be honest.

*Why is 50 feeding his 8 yr old boy? I'm very sure he can drink all on
his own by now. Shit he didn't even look the least bit uncomfortable. I
know when I was 8 if my dad tried to do that shit I'd be calling CPS.

*That poor Chi-Negro girl skinning up her gorgeous knees on the top of
that Lambo was very sad. Don't these video hoochies have a union or
something? They working these working girls to death! They gotta
dance,look good all day, and give blowjobs to the crew!

That's ridiculous!

Ya'll need to band together and fight for your human rights! No blowjobs
after 12 dammit!

Ok I'm gonna stop cuz I think I'm starting to like this video.

Love him or hate him the nigga is a marketing genius

Yung Berg

2007-07-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

Yung Berg ft some other nigga
Move On

Who signed this nigga??

Forreal?

$10 for whoever finds me the old white man that committed this heinous
crime. He gets spit in his green bean casserole!
{Again, White people LOVE green bean casserole}

I've seen interviews of this lil gremlin on MTV and he claims to have
been signed by DMX.

I mean I don't really doubt it, X is a man who carried on a public
conversation with the demons in his head for like 6 albums. He also got
high on crack and tried to steal a car while impersonating a FBI agent.

Still I think this is prolly Earl Simmons greatest regret in life.

This is an even shittier version of that Lil Fizz video I reviewed. Like
I think these guys bought the same video package. These lil bubble gum
rappers have no originality at all.

They all copy off each other!

Every video has this lame ass attempt at trying to get people to believe
they can actually rap at the end. Usually the screen goes black and
white or starts to distort. Then they start a freestyle-esque flow about
how hard they are when they were just rapping about ponies.

We don't believe you, you need more people!

Apart from being a talentless waste of label funding. This nigga is
downright strange looking. I usually have a witty comparison like this
nigga looks like a corn on Beyonces left toe but I honestly don't know what this guy
looks like. That's prolly worse than anything I could think up
actually.

His $200 African vendor grill looks like it hurts.
You get what you pay for Burg, maybe this round of throat gonorrhea will
learn ya.

The entire video is so fuckin rap video by numbers. As a new artist why
not take chances?

That's why I always respected Kanye, even though he softer than Moniques
3rd chin, he takes chances.

I'm not even gonna spend too much time on the video cuz the remix bout
to come out....But Ill hit yall with some WTF moments.

*I know I've mentioned it before but this niggas mouth looks retarded. I
know that's the first thing ya'll zero'd in on. It kinda looks like he
bought one a couple sizes too big for the discount.

*What's up with that singer? It looks like one of the B5 boys escaped
the dungeon Puff keeps all his artists in. The first thing you do with
freedom is star in this bullshit???????

Lil Nigga you deserve what Diddy gonna do to you.

* Ray J in this bitch too, but even Yung Berg feels that this isn't a
good look. Don't believe me look closely at 1:42, and again at 2:12.
This negro will jump in any and every video he can to extend his shine.
Nigga we stopped caring about you after Moesha, let it die, Brandy sold
14 mil world wide bruh, you can always stay in the pool house.

Next up
50-I Get Money

Music Forecast 3.0

2007-07-26T11:19:00.000-07:00

Check my boy AndyB's blog for all the latest hip hop news

Musicforecast.blogspot.com

Throwback Post

2007-07-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

Lil Wayne
Show Me What You Got

What's crackin ya'll!, I see Breezy up there talkin that shit again. Oh Wait! She took it down.... What happened Ma? Had a Change of Heart? Or did SoHH tell you to check yourself?

First off Ma, I'm never gonna disrepect you by calling you a Bitch. I don't have to resort to that.

Secondly I posted a Charm School recap the first time and MTB after because that's what I watched the night before.

Yes this is your job, you get paid to do this, so on and so forth.

Real Talk, I'm prolly half your age, I do this for fun, and I'm still better than you.

I ran into this video a couple months ago and I was surprised that he ever released this footage.

I'm a Wayne fan, he's from my hometown and his new style intrigues me.

I personally believe he sold his soul to Satan via a crossroads and a full moon, Robert Jhonson style. (Google it)

This dude went from "Wobbly dee Wobbly dee" to "Even deaf bitches say Hi to me/She tell a Blind bitch and she say I gotta see".

Hmmmmmmmmm?

I digress, Anyways this mixtape dvd video gives us some insight into the creative process of Weezy, and it aint pretty.
I think this nigga smokes so much weed he channels the living, cuz that was Flav in the booth.

Those fuckin dreads flying everywhere! Let me tell ya'll a story about that shit. I haven't lived in New Orleans in about 12 yrs but all my family does. So we frequently visit, Circa' 2002 niggas down there collectively decided they were all West Indian and grew out dreads. All at the same fucking time! Its like these niggas sent out a city memo that the new dress code was dreads and White Tee gowns.

Back to Weezy Goldberg,
Insomnia and Hydrocodone don't mix.

This seriously reminds me of old footage of Jimi Hendrix trippin off acid and lighting his guitar on fire.
Wayne needs an intervention before he ends up smoking himself retarded like George Clinton.

Why is BET still booking him at shows ya'll? Between the diaper man with the penis on his nose, and Clinton's grunting I would think you couldn't show that on television.

The FCC trips out about Janets glorious nipple but they aint gonna protect my eyes from a grown ass diaper man??? Now that's fucked up.

Anyways the video drags on until our young rapper runs out of metaphors and passes out on the studio floor.

This was more of a long ass anti-drug commercial to me than anything. Parents gather the kids around the screen, you shouldn't even have to explain anything.

SOHH get at me
Thatboi2487@tmail.com

I love you Breezy

Throwback Post

2007-07-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

Making the Band 4
Old Vs. New

I got Breezy shook after one post yall, she destroying my shit like FBI files.

Believe that talent will always shine through all the bullshit though.

Before I dive headfirst into murdering Breezy on her own shit. I have to inform the fam of something that's been heavy on my mind for some time now....... Is it just me or Is there a homosexual vampire on the new MTB?

I haven't watched this season til last night and I thought that niggas face was a joke. I was like why is the vocal coach wearing a halloween mask? I don't care call me superstitious, call me crazy, that nigga is a bonafide Blood/Dick sucker.

I know yall saw that movie The Witches back in 90'....... Ok maybe you didn't but...

http://www.ditmoetjezien.nl/images/155x0/ad79v0x05380d47c681228y4.jpg

Don't he look just like that shit???

Anyways this week Puff Diddy decided his pre-selected man bitches weren't enough to make the ultimate boy band.
We all know his eye for talent is unrivaled. I mean B5, Dream, Loon, Mario Winans, Cassie. The list goes on!

So Diddy sends his minion Mike Biv over to give the boyssss the bad news.
The four niggas they just got rid of are being replaced with four new "talented vocalists". They take it to heart, I thought I saw Chris tear up a bit. ... Okay I'm gassin it but he look like that type of nigga.

So Sean clinked two bottles of cris together whispered the magic words "Badddd Boyyyy Come out and Playyyy!" and assembled the dream team.
Along with the usuals, Bink Dawg and Jack Knight joined in on the "dream crushing" fun. Soon they assembled a group of 11 hopefuls ready and willing to do anything for Diddy. { On a sidenote, WHY?,Why?,Why? Would anyone wanna be on Bad Boy? I can't even remember the girls from last season, Diddy let you put out one CD and then keeps you around to get triple grande carmel macchiattos *made only with the finest cambodian breast milk* }

Back at the house the old guys are putting together an 80's montage. Working out, Dancing, Doing Vocal Excercises all while making sure they don't sweat their foundation off. Ask Prince that shit is Hard!.

Back with the Legion of Doom the new guys are singing " On Bended Knee " onto my list of songs never to listen to, Ever. Right below "Last Night". Well Diddles decides that he's gonna pay the guys a visit with his new bitches and see how they react. When he gets to the flat.... Surprise, Surprise! The guys are asleep, 80's montages are exhausting, What did you expect?

P Daddy took that to heart and decided to make these niggas battle.....Sing Battle. First up is Ace Boogy agianst Brian, Ace thought he had it locked. Then Brian murked that nigga, I thought he was gonna pull out the "Oh You Mad Cuz I'm Stylin On You".

Next Puffarelli had the boyssss sing in pairs to weed out the weaker singers. He was letting some of em rock but most he sent back with the quickness. When it was Chris turn to sing he gave it his all....Too bad he sounded like keith sweat with his balls in a meat grinder. I think his singing was almost as bad as Puffys acting in Carlitos Way......Almost.

It was all too evident who was gonna get to steppin after that. I was kinda surprised he got rid of Dre though. Shit Dre was too! That nigga cried like he lost his pet pony. Then he begged to have another chance! Take your dismissal like a man bruh! That nigga Chris is softer than jello and he walked away with his dignity plus he pulled Ankh Ra number.

Take That, Take That!

SOHH hit a nigga up
Thatboi2487@tmail.com

Gorilla Zoe

2007-07-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

Gorrilla Zoe
Hood N(F)igga

This song has been playin on the radio constantly. I don't listen to that payola driven bullshit but errtime I change CDs this niggas voice assaults me.

There was something sooo familiar about his voice...

It took me awhile but I got it!

He sound just like Tone Loc!

Remember the Funky Cold Medina?

I don't either.... but he was in BeBe's Kids and every black child alive in the early 90s remembers that movie.

Well Gorilla Zoe, who pronounces his moniker Zo, I guess the E is silent.

His mother was a very insensitive woman.

But all those years of school yard ridicule made him into what he is today. A Hood Nigga with a mean mug only to be rivaled by 50.

The video kicks off with Zoě in a old school drop top pulling up to some Breezys house. He draws the ladies in with pure animal magnetism.

Plus his speakers so loud they can't focus on his ugly ass.

Seriously Zoë looks like Timbaland's long lost brother.

Oh my bad that was a typo

He looks like Timbaland's, pit bull's, long lost brother.

Sorry bout that

This is your everyday "I'm Hood" video so of course they have the quintessential slabs, women of ill repute, and low quality jewelry.

Wait,Wait,Wait!

There's a twist!

He transforms ordinary niggas into extraordinary "Hood Niggas" like himself.
Say you're playing basketball but you just can't make a three.
Zoë will loan you his, hood...ness and transform you into a ugly fat nigga who still can't make the basket.

Thanks Gorilla Zoè!!

Another Odd thing I noticed was when ZoÊ was listing all the "bad bitches" he keeps enslaved. The editor was way off with the girls, look closely the white girl is supposed to be red or brown. Shit I couldn't follow it myself but I know the shit was off.

I mean maybe I'm just being too critical but these videos cost hundreds of thousands and they still fuckin up? Niggas need to go back to DeVry forreal.

Young Joc of "Its Goin Down" fame makes a cameo. Looking mighty dapper with his etch-a-sketch fade and flashing his ugly ass chain. Man even Ghostface laughin at this Nigga! and he wears a bathrobe and a golden eagle bracelet to formal events!

You know how many young children died in Sierra Leone to get him that gaudy piece of fecal matter?

None

That shit is straight Cubic Zirconium!

Its iight Joc we know Puff requires 80% and the use of your asshole over at Bad Boy.

Times is hard

This video sucked and the song is even worse look on the bright side Zoé. You're signed to Bad Boy for life........

Nevermind you prolly better off pulling a *Houston

MTB4

2007-07-24T13:55:00.001-07:00

MTB4
Fight Night

What's good yall?

This episode was crazy!

Lets just get into to it, The first 30 minutes don't really matter so
imma just highlight a few of the noteworthy moments for ya'll.

* Big Mike needs to win the Christopher Wallace Big Nigga Award. Every
episode this nigga shows and proves that he can do anything despite that
extra 150 lbs or so. This episode he was wreckin shop on the court and
he knocked Eric out in the ring. This nigga can go out to any Waffle
House in the US and somebody gonna pay for his shit.

*John outting himself on television was classic to me. I always thought
he was a little questionable but he showed his true colors last night.
First off when he gets beat on the court he starts bitchin about
running. The only thing is he was the last game so he really only had to
run about 10 minutes.
Then he got his monkey ass beat in the boxing ring. Q straight lied to
this nigga and said he was gonna take it easy. When they got in the ring
though Q attacked this nigga like an animal. Even though Qwanell won I
feel like both them hoes lost it, Q hit em with a windmill punch to the
nose.

The windmill should only be used by 8 yr old girls on the block.
Automatic DQ!

All I know is if a nigga catch me off guard and bust my nose with a
windmill punch. The next round I'm gonna hit him with a sucka punch to
the balls.

That's just me

Then this fruit loop calls his momma to tell her he got his ass
whooped.

Are you allergic to pussy John?

After this no woman with eyes will want to ever give up the stooch. Go
head and open that magical golden door we know you gay now.

*Qwanell professes his love for Laurie Ann

I mean I would fuck her for days

The crazy ones always the freakiest!

But...Qwanell's a little extreme...

To summarize he wants a girl to dominate him.
He the type to have a chick horse whipping his balls

Not a good look bruh

Enough of the bullshit lets get to the meat of the matter.

Laurie Ann is a certified bi-polar bear

The boyss have to learn a very difficult dance routine in a day. And
Laurie Anns loud ass will accept nothing less than perfection from our
Bad Boy hopefuls.

I'm now convinced that Laurie Ann's voice is directly connected to her
clitoris. She just yells to yell now. The most ridiculous shit flys
outta her dick trap.

Gotcha! Gotcha!

Anyways Johnny boy decides he has had enuff of this broads scratchy ass
voice and calls it quits. He does so very respectfully and then Laurie
fuckin wigs out. Yelling such Quotables as

"Gets to steppin Negro!"
"One monkey nigga don't stop the show!"
"Ya'll shoulda punched money in the eye!"

She lost her gotdamn mind for a second there, but she was right one
closeted homosexual doesn't stop the show. So the boyss danced on
through Laurie Anns torture session.

Then she called up Juliuss, he was trying his hardest and then...Snap

I thought "money" was just upset and frustrated at Laurie.

Then they showed him crying like he got shot, shit he shoulda acted like
he got shot. At least that woulda been excuse enough to cry on
television.

************Attention*************

Next time you see this episode watch closely or TiVo when they're
lifting J into the ambulance.

Laurie Ann has a fuckin smile on her face

She's demented

And after this crazy ass day somebody gots to get the boot!

Aint that fucked up?

The singin round was uninspiring they really gotta get some new songs!

If I hear Dan sing let it burn one more time I'm gonna find his address
and go spit in the green bean casserole on Thanksgiving.
*White folk love Green Bean Casserole*

Soooo. They get back to the dance studio for eliminations and Juliuss is
sweating bullets. He don't know if that heartless homo Diddy is gonna
let him stay.

He was trying though Ya'll see him dancing in his crutches??

Surprise, Surprise! The Boysss don't know the routine. Especially
Qwanell, he was too busy bustin off to Laurie's insanity to pay
attention.

So Puff Daddy, Biv, and Laurie Ann all huddle together to decide on the
guys performances. The question of how long the practice session was
came up somehow.

Laurie immediately started to fiddle with her hair and replied "Only
Today" Puff looked at her like WTF!

Turns out she was supposed to be on her job all weekend and MTV couldn't
get ahold of her.

So Diddy asks for a new choreographer and Laurie starts with the

"Can I interject?"

No Trick you can't interject
You shoulda been on your job teaching them dumb fucks how to dance that
routine.

For the second time Diddy asks her to remove herself from the room.
Somebody shoulda punched money in the eye..... Oh yeah they hit her with
a chair.

That's better anyways

One monkey nigga don't stop the show though! Cuts must occur and S curls
must roll.

I gotta admit to yall I went to sleep after this but I'm sure nothing
else interesting happened.

The whole show was very anti-climatic and I was dissapointed. While
there were some
jewels, my expectaions were too high.

And Another One

2007-07-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

Diddy
Through the Pain

(Click pic for vid)

He's done it again!

Every time this Egomaniacal ass negro supposedly "Gets his heart
broken". He hits up the studio a pumps out a puss-tastic sob story.

Nigga first off you cheated on your childrens mother publicly like 5
times. Even a gold digger gotta pack it up after that, you don't pay
them that much.

I bet Kim shit bout to fall off after all the STD's Puffarelli done
brought home.

Them Kenyan Lion Crabs don't play boy!

He's enlisted Mario Winans for the task of getting his money back.

Puff told him he could record another album if he sang Kim back into
submission.

Too bad Mario can't sing *Esta Rolle into his sheets.

Looks like its 1.2 mil a year for you Diddykins.

So this video is classic Diddy

Light skinned models
Exotic Cars
That Fuckin Toothpick!

What is it with that damn toothpick Puff?

You got an oral fixation?
You used to suck your thumb as a child?

No I got it, That shit is penis flavored so when he has to do anything
heterosexual he don't throw up on his Sean Jhon V Neck.

Soooo.. The plot of the video is that Puff is depressed.

So Mario rolls over and suggests a stripper run.

Hey it works for PacMan Jones

Seriously though, this is why the nigga is 37 and single.

If you trying to get your girl back

1. Don't Make a Video in a mock titty bar

2. Don't cast the least attractive video girl as Kim, Yall notice that
shit?

Everytime he sees a gorgeous woman, his aviators magically transform
them into this semi-average chick.

????????

Game recognize Game Puff, Right now you lookin real unfamiliar!

Take an L Puff

She left you for a very good reason

You a asshole

Monthly Rant

2007-07-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Slow Day

Iight I got home late from work last night and I have an early shift
today sooooo... I only had a couple minutes to spare to watch TV.

I got to see the last few minutes of "Take The Cake"

Needless to say its TRASH!

Toccarra's breasts are the stars of the show, them thangs are out
of control. They got babies starving in Malaysia, and her big ass
doin a late night game show on BET.

Talk about wasting Gods gifts.

MC Lyte was on last night looking very good, she's aging well.

And

That's the last positive thing I have to say.

This show is grossly offensive,

The questions are so easy I think I lost a couple of brain cells. I mean
do they really think black people are THAT stupid. Ask us
history questions or at least questions about old school hip
hop.

Something slightly challenging

No fuckin lie they had a challenge on there to figure out who was in a
photo by identifying their Grill.

In the words of SoHH Soulman

DEBRA LEE YOU SUCK!

Ms Piggy lookin, High yella, Uncle tom ass, Swagger jackin' MTV,
Cankle havin, Aint seen a dick in 10 years, Quad chin havin, Sell Out
TRICK.

She and her team of evil minions are completely missing what Black
people want out of BET.
We want meaningful programming, Yes we love to laugh but there's so
much more to our lives!

BET isn't helping the race at all right now, If I could I'd take that
shit off the air.

They aren't breaking any new artists unless they're teen idols.

They refuse to pay our favorite television personalities proper salaries
(Free & AJ).

0% of programming is devoted to anything remotely intelligent. Give
Cornell West or Tavis Smiley another show We can't be
about coonery all day long!

90% of the day is devoted to dumbass music videos, the pubic area of
modern cinema.
Where's the original programming BET?

No not MTV/VH1 bootlegs, ORIGINAL shit!

Kanye is getting a show on HBO, why isn't it on BET?,
Why wasn't "The Chappelle Show" on BET? Or countless other genius black
shows like The Boondocks.

I'm sure they would have been happy to do it given the chance.

Why isn't "our" channel not benefitting off of our most
influential entertainers?

Niggas are making millions off the degredation of our race over there.
Why are there still fuck ups during award shows, or regular programming
for that matter??

We've all seen it

You're sitting there watching The Parkers or some shit and it goes to
commercial mid show and then cuts back in. You ever seen that shit on
MTV??

Hip Hop is at the forefront of Entertainment right now. This should our
generations "Harlem Rennissance" but instead of reaching social
enlightenment were sinking deeper into bullshit and coonery.

Fuck BET you don't represent me, you represent that lil green
nigga Franklin.

I'm changing the channel to TVOne

That's my rant for the month

--thatboi2487

Rihanna

2007-07-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

Rihanna
Shut up and Drive

This is your idea of a singer Jay???

I mean I know Hov aint the best judge of talent look at Bleek. I
got a Bleek CD for "Dear Summer" once, I never even ventured past
track 2.

Every mogul succums to a P.Y.T every now and then, just cause she
gives good head you don't have to sign the bitch.

Look at Puff he didn't even smash on Cassie ole one hit
wonder ass.

I find it odd that Diddy makes the band sing for forty days
straight and Cassie don't even have to reherse??

That's neither here nor there, lets get into this bullshit.

Rhianna pulls up stuntin in a Ferrari, she steps out in some
leopard print 6 inch joints. Hair is on point, Her walk is
fierce, her body just looks amazing.

Then she went and fucked it all up by singing.

Ole girl sounds like, for lack of a better term, a cat orgy. I
mean she can't sing to start but then that fuckin accent just kind of
annoys your ears.

Conceptually I guess the video is about a gang of super models who
steal cars. Then drive them to their secret airplane hangar, Where they
pretty much just handle dangerous equipment in spandex.

Makes sense to me!

So then things get really exciting, she dances her way outside where a
drag race is being held.

I don't know for sure but I think its implied that whoever wins the race
gets to fuck.

Remember this

If you ever see Rhianna, challenge another man to a race, she is
required by some ancient Carribean law to give up the panty drawers.

No lie

Nothing else really worth mentioning happens in this video, There's a
hooptie they spray painted gold, I thought that was interesting.

Sorta

This is the quintessential sexual innuendo track for Rhianna and like
all sexual innuendo it eventually gets confusing. And you usually just
have to explain what you were trying to say in the first place.
Rhianna doesn't have that luxury, so were just left wondering what
Running all her lights means.

Maybe she has three titties?

Terrible Video, Horrible Song, Rhianna looks good though. God Bless
whoever figured out how to make that five-head monster look like
a human woman.

Listen with your ears next time Hov, I don't think your
dick hears very well.

Thatboi2487@tmail.com or gmail.com
--thatboi2487

Throwback Post

2007-07-18T13:02:00.003-07:00

Super Sweet 18
Chris Brown

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1564073&vid=161557

Full Episode Link

What's Really Good Fam? Iight its gonna be hard for me to hate on
this one. Usually Super Sweet Sixteen get the channel flip with the
quickness. This is different Chris Brown is spending his own
money and has a rightful sense of entitlement.

With that being said lets dive into it.

This show begins with our favorite teen crooner on the hunt for the
perfect place to throw his private party. His search leads him to the
swanky 40/40 club owned by the Jigga Man.

You'll never guess what the theme of his party is!..... Micheal
Jackson, Ironic cuz that's the theme of his career too....

Well they say it was an "Off The Wall" party but wasn't nothin
themed but the Go-Go Hoes. Shit when my lil cousin had a Princess
Party he at least had Cinderella there (Don't ask).

That's a whole different story though, that I don't enjoy explaining.

Moving on, Chris then takes a trip to the car shop where his new
Lamborgini is sitting stock. He leaves the technical shit to the owner
who looks thrilled to be getting some of that nigga money.
Shit I would be too!, these entertainers don't care what the fuck you
add on.
"Yea we gonna get you them diamond encrusted brake calipers over
there and top it off with the gold seat belts."
Niggas just be cheesin hard like "Wait til Superhead see me in
this!".

He goes and checks on his dancers for his Grand entrance next. He was
going to have a full drill team follow him down the street like a mini
parade.
Tell me why the choreographer looks like he actually paid someone to
make him look like an even bigger queen.
Its just not enough that he's a choreographer, he has to rock the
mohawk too.
Hold up not just any mohawk either he had swiggles cut all in his
shit.
Nigga looked like Denis Rodman back when he was important.
Well everything checked out with Mr. Sweet T and the dancers
looked great so C.B. called it a night.

The next morning he had a charity celebrity basketball game and
everybody was there. Just to name a few I saw Juelz Santana, Jim Jones ,
and the rapping standard poodle...I think its name was Remy Ma or
somethin.

When the game started, I started to think God did way too much for this
nigga.
Not only is dude rich, tall, and handsome on top of that the nigga can
ball! It was so easy for him he was doin the chicken noodle soup between
plays.
Well maybe he was just a big fish in a very small pond because it don't
look like Jim has done any type of running since the Rucker.
On top of all that he had the girls section lookin like a gospel tent
they were crying and shit.
Now that's something I've never understood ladies, Do ya'll love them so
much that it makes you lose your humanity?
Ya'll turn into these feral animals, I heard of one story back
when B2K was hit where a 15 yr old jumped off a bridge onto their tour
bus.
That shit is crazy!

That night was his party but before he had the one at 40/40 he had one
for the fans. That shit was an *Aquarium I would have
loved to be there! There was seriously not a dude in the crowd.
Well the night's main event was Lil Mama performing who, in my opinion,
Is a sub-human creature. I'm sorry, every time I see that lil
girl I throw up in my mouth a little, she's prolly one of the few
where makeup makes it worse.

After her performance Chris decided he didn't want to be raped so he
jetted off to the 40/40. There was one problem though, The party was
poppin without him! Nobody was outside to see his Grand Entrance. So
in true Sweet Sixteen fashion he told everybody to get they ass outside
so they could envy him. I gotta hand it to him the entrance was pretty
tight and the girls was pretty hyped up afterwards there was one gay guy
there tho that looked wayyy too excited. His eyes were all lit up
and shit, lookin like he just saw a discount rack of purple gucci v
necks. I think Gyant owns a shirt just like that.

Hmmmmmmmmm?

While the party was hype it was lacking in the celebrity department.
Only celebrity I noticed that showed was Rhianna ole alien ass. While
she's looking a lot better now she still reminds me of that blue thing
off of "The 5th Element".
Ya'll remember that right? Okay maybe you don't, Let me jog your
memory's

http://www.starshipmodeler.org/wfest2k6/m_bp_diva.jpg

Don't she look just like that shit???

Next came my favorite moment in Television this week.
Someone rushed over to Chris with a phone like "Its Micheal
Jackson!" Chris got so giddy after that he kinda reminded me of that
gay nigga I mentioned earlier.

So they make a big production out of it, they put him on speaker and
tell everybody to shut up.
A minute passes by and a voice says "Hold please, prepare to speak to
Mr. Jackson". There was another long pause then a noise like the
phone being passed, Chris was like "Hello!?! This is Chris!?!
Helloooo?!?" then Mike straight hung up.
I thought I heard a faint "Stop swagger jackin bitch!" but that's
just me.

Chris took it in stride though and immediately was like "Fuck it,
Lets Dance!". I don't care what nobody say that nigga can dance his
ass off.
He be doin shit it would take me a month to learn, and while everybody
else was having fun Rhianna ole boring ass was lookin like this.

http://www.starshipmodeler.org/wfest2k6/m_bp_diva.jpg

Had to do it agian!

Next it was the essential flaunt your new car segment of the show. The
lambo arrived in all its glory, color matched rims, new exhaust,
custom microwave in that shit.
One girl was like "That car is sick yo!" a fairly normal
statement except she sounded like Morgan Freeman.
I don't understand how them NY chicks be getting those deep ass voices
that shit is not attractive. Must be them quarter waters.

The show ends with Chris in the Lambo driving off into the night. I
imagine he cried in the car, Mike was dirty for that one.

SOHH hit me up
Thatboi2487@tmail.com

*Aquarium- A gathering comprised mostly of women (See
Sausage Fest)

I Love You Breezy

T.I,

2007-07-18T13:02:00.002-07:00

T.I.
You know what it is

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DOU3HHoMJIk

What's good Ya'll, Hope you guys had a good weekend. My Friday
the 13th was kinda fucked up lets just say meeting up with the police on
two separate occasions can ruin your night.

No Gyant

I'm just Joshin ya Gyant!
Now lets get into a video that brightened my day with its sheer
terrible...ness. When I saw this bullshit, I knew I was gonna
have some Grade A shit for yall.

Why? T.I. ever thought working with Wyclef was a good look is prolly
gonna go down as one of the Oddest Collabo's in History. Right
next to the 50 cent and Ma$e love affair (Ma$e know where them trannys at! ,Shittt how you think they signed Olivia?)
And Eddie Murphy and Rick James (That shit is catchy though).

Anyway the Video starts with T.I. stepping off the rented private jet.
With Wyclef not far behind playing Air Guitar.....With a real
guitar and he does this shit the WHOLE video.

We all know you not playing for real Clef! You're not that good of an
actor, Shit we all saw that "Carmen : A Hip Hopera" Mtv
crap.
I've seen better acting at my lil cousins tea parties, see he has these
puppets and my aunt makes us watch.... Well you get what I'm trying to
say....
Any movie where Lil Bow Wow gets arrested for coke possession shouldnt
even be shown to the blind.

I'm off topic though, T.I and the worst Fugee hop into some kind
of Batmobile . Then speed off to some empty Haitian bar to talk
to an O.G. Rude Bwoy about T.I.'s gangsta.....or how he isn't
a rapper. I really didn't understand this part cuz "Teddy
Buckshot" is speaking Patois and Wyclef is just speaking English
with a bad accent. Then they just zoomed into that dudes face? What? Who
the fuck was that?

Has anyone else noticed Mr. Harris's talented nostrils? Every
time T.I. "Transforms" into Tip the nigga's nostrils flare up
like Seabiscuit.

I never understood why rappers shout out shit they have no idea about.
Im willing to bet a dollar and five cents that the only Haitian Clifford
ever met was Wyclef.
How the fuck does that qualify you to rep Haiti?????
That's like me going stopping at JFK for a connection flight and
then getting Brooklyn tatted on my arm and ending all posts with
Brooklyn Stand Up.

Not a good look.

My favorite part of this whole shit storm is when Clef jumps in front of
T.I. eating a chicken leg.

Classic Cooning!

Somebody break out the Sambo awards!

http://www.abebooks.com/images/RareBooks/avid-collector/Jun06/alephBetBooksStoryOfLittleBlackSambo.jpg

Is it just me? or when did music videos become commercials?
I mean I know Rappers like to show shit off but damn that phone was the
focal point of the video.
All they needed was the Alltell Wireless guys offering plans
as low as $19.99 with unlimited calls to anywhere in the U.S and it
would have been legit. Alltell Wireless, top service provider in
America, Come and Get Your Love!

Fuckin Sellouts

Well after a weekend of cool island adventure, Wyclef and Tip drop some
Acid and somehow rewind themselves into the plane and believe they can
pilot that shit.

Notice Wyclef is still praticing Guitar Hero, that shit is
hard!

This is one of the most unfocused videos I've ever had the misfortune to
see. It looks like they made up shit as they went along really.
They need to send these awful video directors back to DeVry cuz
they make what I do much too easy.

In completely unrelated news Remy Ma looks just like a
Labradoodle

http://www.rompindoodlesusa.com/Images/Cody/labradoodle%205.gif

Don't have shit to do with this but I just thought that I should
mention.

Beds/Go Hard

2007-07-18T13:02:00.001-07:00

Beds/Go Hard
Lil Fizz ft Ray J

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FVS6AneHCFs

Aint that Brandy Brother?????

Oh my Good Lord Jesus why did you bless me with this???
I knew giving that $6.40 in church last sunday would come back to me somehow!

See, I've been a hater of all things B2K since the ninth grade.

I had the misfortune of having a class with two bonafide B2K psychopaths, I mean these girls were very scary.
They taped every TV apperance, clipped out every magazine article, learned every lyric!

These fiends would seriously cry when they listened to certain songs in class.

They even had these huge binders where they would make scrap book pages for every member.

And While them bitches would prolly lick peanut butter out the B2K tour manager's asshole, they wouldn't let me borrow a pencil.

Crazy ass broads

It starts out with Ray J and Lil Fizz cutting Jet Li's lawn......
Ok it wasn't really Jet Li but I'm trying to help Fizz out with a cameo.

So Jet leaves and asks two young black men to watch his mansion........ Righttttt!

First thing these niggas do is call all the freshman girls they used to try and fuck their senior year.

No really it looks like the held a casting call in the middle of a mall on a friday night.

I mean c'mon they playing spin the bottle!

Ray J completely steals the show on this one though.

He was jumping around, sweating profusely, and giving the camera these odd faces.

He kinda reminded me of someone but I just couldn't quite put my finger on it..
Then it hit me....... this nigga was acting like Bobby Brown.

I immediately started trying to figure out how this could happen.
Drugs? Going months without Carmex?

Nope, I'm afraid that after years and years of beating that stooch up Whitney Houston has contracted a terrible case of R.O.N.I.
Symptoms include Genital itch, Dry lips, Lock jaw,a mild addiction to crack, and Delusional visions of R&B domination.

Better go run to the clinic Ray

Well anyways Lil Fizzle is as terrible as he was 5 years ago. This dude is spittin that hot garbage! He actually has a line about smashing a chick in his twin bed??

Aint this nigga 25 or somethin??

Its time to let go of the car bed my dude... Not a good look.

Two other B2K members made it out to the set. Omarion and that Big Headed nigga that look the gayest,
Nooo not Marquis Houston that other one.

I personally think they wanted to see R.J's "Big Meat" but its nice that they're supporting their fellow ex band mate.

Wait Wait Wait!

The video is a 2 for 1!

Damn God must have appreciated the hell outta that $6.40

Fizz borrowed Omarions old Bentley GT, uncliped the barrettes, and put on his best mean mug. He's really trying to sell us this New Fizz, the Fizz that will "Go Hard" on you and then prolly apologize for acting stupid.

He kinda sounded like Wayne though, He might have ghost written two lines for him.
Fizz just filled the rest in, like Mad Libs.

I go so hard I make _____(noun) itch
____ (name) F. Baby the fireman bitch

You get what you pay for people

Man this video really entertained the hell outta me though. Not in the way they intended it to, but when you're this bad you gotta take what you can get.

If anybody can find R.Kelly in the video send me an email and I'll split the blackmail money with you
Thatboi2487@tmail.com

Ohhh yea..........Don't he look just like Janet Jackson and James DeBarges lost love child?http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2006/celebdatabase

Welcome,Welcome,Welcome!

2007-07-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Ya'll,
Since Talkin Videos is now a sugar-coated shell of what it once was. I'll be delivering the hate you all crave on the regular, until Mexico-City is up and running.